What He Did on Valentine's Day

He went out and ate a hamburger
With the ketchup fallin' out
And the bun fallin' off
And a mess everywhere

And he thought
Nobody's watching me eat
So I'm going to eat what I want
How I want
And I'm going to enjoy it

He looked over at the poor girl
Eating a salad
And her boyfriend
Picking at chicken
And he knew they wanted his hamburger
And he didn't envy them

Then he went to a movie
One of those dumb ones
That you go see
Just to laugh at

And while he was in line
He heard a couple arguing
Because the guy wanted to see an indie
And the girl wanted to see a mindless action flick
And he was glad he didn't have to confer with anyone
Regarding how to spend his ten fifty

He watched them settle
On a three hour documentary
About General Noriega
And he didn't envy them

He went home and took a ridiculous shower
Until the hot water ran out
Sent out a few flirty texts
To a few different people
Made a few plans
For later in the week
And got ready for bed

And he thought of all the couples out there
Examining their time together on Valentine's Day
Wondering if they were really happy
If a guaranteed date one day a year
Is really worth the rest of time
When there's fighting and silence
And the ominous sense
Of life passing by
And of not being lived

And he didn't envy them
Not one bit
Not at all

And tomorrow
Would not
Be Valentine's Day

So tomorrow
Would be his