Forty Bucks

You got another big check for me, Rich?

Another forty bucks

So you can play Daddy on weekend
With MY kids

Forty bucks don't make you a father
Forty bucks don't make you much of anything

Just someone who comes by on Fridays
Takes the kids to a movie
Lets 'em crash on his futon
Then brings 'em back bright and early
Saturday morning

And don't think I don't know
That you've been bringing them around
Your girl's house

Having 'em play with her kids
Acting like one big happy family
Talking about how one day
You could file for sole custody
Because that turns her on
Doesn't it, Rich?

Those two words: Sole Custody

The thought of you hanging out there
More than one night a week

Having the kids play video games downstairs
While you and her have a quickie up in her bedroom

I'M NOT STUPID, RICH!

For forty bucks
You get yourself two kids
You can use as an aphrodisiac
To get your bitch all turned on
For one night a week

Let me guess

When you don't wanna be bothered with her
You tell her your son came down with a cold
Or that your daughter had a ballet recital

I wish your kids had the father you lie about
Instead of the one they got

Lately I've just been wishing
That they didn't have a father at all

And what do you know
My wish is about to come true

Because I just started dating
This really nice guy from Springfield

A lawyer

And he says I could get a lot more
Than forty bucks out of you
If I wanted to

And Rich, something tells me
You won't want to spend more than forty bucks
For a weekly hookup
And the pleasure of your kids' company

So I'll tell you what

Why don't you just pack up
And move on

I'll tell the kids you moved
To another state

It'll be like a second Christmas
For them

I'll even go over to your little girlfriend's house
And tell her she's not going to get to play mixed family
With my children anymore

The news might sound better
Coming from the bitch of an ex-wife

And after I'm done doing all my telling
You're done coming around

Sound like a plan?

Aw, don't look so upset, Rich

Just think of everything you can do
With that forty bucks

Probably a lot more than I can do with it
That's for damn sure