The Carsen's Go to the Theater

Clea, you are not allowed to comment
On the actresses' performances
While the show is going on

Regardless of whether or not
You feel their movement is fluid
Or their accents are believable
You will stay SILENT

It's taken a lot for poor Miss Taylor
To get back onstage
After you yelled out to her during 'Hedda Gabler'

'Heck Hedda, I'll come shoot you!'

Please leave the poor woman alone
Or you won't be going
On that field trip next week

Charles, you are not allowed to bring your notebook
Nor are you allowed to submit any more reviews to the New Yorker

Poor Mr. Lahr is threatening to run your piece
And then I'll never be able to show my face
At Lincoln Center again

Charles, it wasn't THAT bad of a show
Even Clea liked it

It may have been because Miss Taylor wasn't in it, Clea
But you liked it all the same

Charles, when you are ten
You can be published in the New Yorker
But as long as you're still in single digits
I forbid you to try destroying the careers
Of up-and-coming composers
Just because you're mad
That I wouldn't let you go to Prodigy Camp
When you were four

And Cici, for the love of God
Do not leave your pacifier
Sitting on your program
During intermission
While you go outside
To try and find the director
And tell him about the time you played the alleged savior
In Charles' failed production
Of a 'Merry Atheist's Christmas'

We are going to ENJOY this show
Or from now on
I'm only taking you three
To the MOVIES

That's right
You heard me

I believe there's a new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie out

. . . . .

My, my, my

I've never heard you three
Be so quiet