Mary Ann Goes Shopping

That blue top is on sale
It's on sale
You can't just let it sit there
You have to buy it
It's on sale, Kerri

GRAB IT ALREADY!

I don't understand you

Does it look good
Does it not look good

Who cares?

It's on sale

Buy it now
Try it on
If it doesn't look good
Bring it back

But you have to act
You have to act now
Can't take it into the dressing room with you
And stare at it for twenty minutes
While other bargains are flying out of the store

Did you see that pair of gloves I lost earlier?

And why?

Because I hesitated

I should have grabbed
Those were nice gloves
And they were on SALE!

And I let them go

It breaks my heart

Three years ago there was a sweater I wanted
But I told myself I'd be splurging
So I decided to come back the next week
And pick it up

Guess what?

GONE

I'll never forgive myself for that

That sweater haunts me
To this day

You

You let everything go, Kerri
That's why you're steeped in misery

Your net's got all kinds of holes in it
Things are just flying right through you
Like you're not even there
Like you're a ghost

That's what you are, Kerri
A shopping ghost

You gotta seize what you like

Remember that boy you liked in fourth grade?

Danny Danvers?

Remember how you let him
Slip through your fingers?

Well, he's a meth addict now

See what you did?

If you'd have loved him
Grabbed onto him
Filled him with your womanhood
He might have turned out all right

Watch

You put down that blue top
And pretty soon
It'll be doing meth too

That's how the world works

It does not reward
One who rests on their laurels

So, you gonna buy it?

Good

. . . . .

I mean, I technically looked at it first
But--

Never mind

You snooze you lose

I guess today was not my day