God Gives You the Day Off

You need to sleep

So I'm making it snow

I'm making it snow
Then rain, then snow
So that the roads will be so bad
Even your boss
Who fought you when you wanted
To take Christmas off

Will be stuck in his house
With his bitch of a wife

Oh yeah, he has a bitch of a wife
Why do you think he likes being at work so much?

So I made it snow
And I made you soup
And I'm having some random cable channel
Air "You've Got Mail" and "When Harry Met Sally"
Back to back, then back again

I'm having all your friends text you
To tell you how much they love you
But I'm instructing them
Not to tell you any of their problems
Or ask you for advice

They'll survive without you
For a day

I cleaned the apartment
Did the dishes
Took out the dress
Got rid of that thing in the fridge
That was growing legs

Now get some rest
Eat some soup
And call me when Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal
Are saying 'pepper' back and forth to each other

I love that

Oh, and last night
I shaved your ex-boyfriend's head

Your welcome