You Need a Boyfriend

You need a boyfriend

You don't need a listener
An individual
A passionate, ambitious
Thinker

You don't need someone
To challenge
Or your perceptions
Or call you out on your bullshit

You just need a boyfriend
Right?

You need a fan
You need an unconditional support system
Without any practicality
Or any real communication

You need someone to cuddle with
And see bad movies with
And go out drinking with
And fight in public with
And someone to break up with
Once summer rolls around

A boyfriend, right?

You need a boyfriend

You need fun Facebook statuses
And photos to post on your wall
That all your dumb fag hags
Can comment on

You need to feel validated
Twenty-four hours a day
You need him to stay with you
Constantly

Because 'me' becomes 'we'
And 'we' is a full-time job

You need a 'me' anymore

You just need a boyfriend

In other words
You don't need a person
You don't need a man
You don't need a brain
You don't need a conversationalist
You don't need a life outside your "relationship"

All you need
Is a boyfriend

Wow

No wonder you didn't need me