I'm Not Here to See You

I’m not here to see you
Oh, don’t get me wrong, God
I’m thrilled to see you

I had no idea you were so tall

That means I won a bet
With my friend Clive

Is he dead yet?

No?

Well, win one bet
Lose another

It was really nice meeting you, God
But I’d really like to see my Pop

I wouldn’t mind seeing Charlie Chaplin
If he’s walking around here somewhere
But my Pop is who I really want to see

I gotta be honest with you, God
I’m not too crazy about being dead

My wife is devastated
My kids are heartbroken
My coffin smells funny

It’s just not what I expected

But if I can see my Pop
I’ll be all right

When I was a kid
He used to play checkers with me
And he’d never let me win

The bastard

I never got any good at checkers
While he was alive
And now that I am
I want to play him in a game
And really clean his clock

I know checkers might not be
Everyone’s reason
For wanting to get up here

But for me
Checkers with Pop

That’d make being dead not all that bad

At least until Clive gets up here
Then we can really tear up this joint