Sometimes I Pretend

Sometimes I Pretend

Sometimes I look
Sometimes I don’t wanna
Sometimes I do anyway

I look and look to see
If I can find the you I need
Deep inside that friendly exterior

Sometimes I pretend
That it’s washed away
By a newfound perspective
Or a subtle change

A change maybe I haven’t controlled
But a change all the same

Sometimes I pretend
That you’re next to me asleep
When I close my eyes
And place my hand
As far away as I think it would be
If you were there next to me

I don’t dream of cinematic exchanges
In front of fountains in Europe
Or lovemaking sessions
At a cabin somewhere

I just dream of waking up
And making you breakfast

Of not having to say ‘I love you’
Because ‘I love you’ is a way of life

I dream of trying to read
On a Sunday morning couch
Being distracted
By watching you read

Sometimes I pretend
That one day it’ll happen
That time is the only obstacle
That one day I’ll learn a word
That unlocks the block
That stops you
From seeing me
Only to the boundary
Of what I can manage to show

Sometimes I know
It won’t happen

But even though I shouldn’t
I pretend

Sometimes

I do