Jen's a doctor
That's right, Sharon
A doctor
I know, time flies
Remember when we were so concerned
Because she was dating that boy Rocco
And we thought she was going to run away and get married
And have two kids, both of whom were born with abnormally large hands?
Well, that DIDN'T happen
PHEW!
She's a doctor now
She invented a cure for severe acne
Something to do with goat saliva
Total breakthrough
Oh, and Tom?
He's a lawyer now
Has absolutely no interest
In worshipping Satan anymore
Goes to church all the time now
Loves Jesus--LOVES Jesus
Knows the whole Bible by heart
And when he's not at church
He's prosecuting murderers
And pedophiles
And his old buddies
Who got him into pentagrams
And all that craziness
Good old Tom
My little boy
All grown up
And me?
Oh, I've lost seventy-five pounds
I got married--again
Staying with Steve wasn't an option
Once I realized the recliner
Was more important to him
Than I was
So of course I didn't stay with him
For ten more years
I got married to a rich guy from Tampa
And I'm bringing him to the reunion next week
Where I'm sure I'll see you, Sharon
You were always so mean to me in high school
When I saw you at the ten year
My life was such a shambles
But everything's great now
And I can't wait to tell you
All about it
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