Deviled Eggs

Oh Jesus, Robert
Oh Jesus
Ohhhh Jesus
Robert, Jesus
Jesus, Robert

Oh God

She's gone
She is gone
Your daughter
Is gone
Robert

This is your fault

I wanted to hire the Indian caterer, Sampul
And you wanted something more traditional
And now our daughter
Has run off
With the caterer

It's all here in this note, Robert

'I'm leaving with Jerry. It was his deviled eggs that did me in.'

What the HELL does that mean?

What the HELL was in those deviled eggs?

Who the HELL is Jerry? I thought the caterer was named Frank.

The what?

THE ASSISTANT?

She left with the ASSISTANT?

That's unacceptable

Abandoning your fiance and your family
For a caterer is one thing
But for a caterer's ASSISTANT!

I suppose HE'S the one
That makes the deviled eggs

Oh Dear Lord
I could shoot that girl in the face

OUT OF LOVE, ROBERT
OUT OF LOVE!

I knew one day food would ruin my life
I just never knew it would happen like this
I always assumed it would be a large piece of steak
Caught in my esophagus

I would choke to death
And you'd find me at the dining room table
Scrawling out my last will and testament
Using a soup spoon
And some particularly frothy mushroom soup

At least that would have been a respectable demise
But to be brought down by an hors d'oeuvre!

What?

Love?

Robert
Did you just--
Love?

Are you JOKING?

Jesus, Robert
That is really something

Robert, you spent your entire life
Merging corporations
And pillaging pension funds

You spend every Christmas in Tokyo
And for our anniversary last year
You gave me flood insurance

And your daughter's deviled egg romance
Is the event that warms your heart?

You know I love a good vacation, Robert
But I'm not quite sure how to pack
For the TWILIGHT ZONE!

I just--

Robert, wait
Wait, Robert, wait
Just wait!

This isn't from Clara
I was a little confused
Because the letter started with--

'Dear Mom and Dad'

Oh thank God, Robert
It's from Steven!

Steven left with the caterer's assistant

. . . . .

Oh Jesus, Robert

Those must have been SOME deviled eggs