Oh my goodness!
Everyone's here
How odd
Considering the only thing we're voting on today
Is an increase in taxing sheep herders
I wonder if perhaps
There's another reason
You've all decided
To scurry me away
Into this portico
Could it be...
A surprise party
To celebrate
My becoming dictator supreme?
Ohhh you devils!
You know I hate surprises!
Casca, you can stop making that face
I know you hate having your plans ruined
But don't blame yourself
I'm very hard to surprise
I mean, look at Brutus
He's wearing his purple toga
He only wears that when he's going to surprise someone
Or he plans on assassinating one of his friends
How could I NOT figure out what was going on?
Good job coming up with that fake petition, Cimber
Recall exiling my brother--Ha!
That was the best you could do?
It doesn't even look like a real petition
Plus, you know I'd only recall the exile
Over my dead body--Hahaha!
Why aren't any of you laughing?
How dare you not laugh at my jokes!
Did you not find it funny, Casca?
And you, Brutus?
Well, I can't expect you all
To understand my elevated humor
When you spend your free time
Painting the faces of the gods on your chest
Using the nipples as eyes
Incidentally, Gaius
I don't believe Poseidon's eyes
Are QUITE that large
Say, where's Marc Antony?
Shouldn't he be here for the party?
Did you not invite him?
Men, I know you're not fond of him
But he's my friend
When YOU'RE dictators
Then you can have whomever you like
At your surprise party
But today is my party
And I want--
Well, wait a minute
Don't take out your daggers yet
I want to get a good look at the cake
Before you start cutting into it
That's the one problem with this Senate
Always making rash decisions
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