The Villain Does His Taxes

Koala food
Deduction

Little John Tesh
Is a co-worker
So when I feed him
It's a business lunch

Especially when I feed him double agents

JOHN TESH! DON'T EAT THAT MI-6!
YOU'LL BE SICK FOR WEEKS!

New Death Ray
Deduction

Again, business expense

The last Death Ray I purchased
Actually DID work fine
But I had to buy another one
Because sometimes I like to pull a Death Ray
Out of my left hand pocket
And sometimes I like to pull a Death Ray
Out of my right hand pocket

I like to have the option
To be ambidextrous

Even though when I fire with my left hand
I usually only maim, rather than kill
At which point it's not a Death Ray
But rather, a Maim Ray
Which sounds like an aquatic--

Anyway, deduct it
It's a business expense

All those trips to Ohio
Deduct them
That's where my secret evil lair is

Find me?

Please!

Nobody ever looks for anybody
In Ohio

I'd have a bigger chance at being exposed
If I lived in the Great Barrier Reef

JOHN TESH! DO NOT PUSH THE RED BUTTON!
IF YOU BLOW UP ONE MORE AFRICAN COUNTRY
SO HELP ME GOD!

He's been acting out
Ever since I got the girl koala

I did it to give him company
But they don't get along

MARY HART!
MARY HART, STOP TEASING JOHN TESH!
IT'S HIS TURN TO GO INTO THE CHAMBER OF DEATH
WITH THE PRIME MINISTER!

Okay, back to business

Tickets to see Billy Elliott
Deduction

I took my friend, Evil Larry
And then we blew up New Guinea

So it was an evening of business
And dancing exuberance

All right, so how much am I paying?

. . . . .

Uh......huh

Well, luckily I'm an anarchist
Who doesn't believe in taxes
Or government
Of any kind

Otherwise, I'd have to sell one of the koalas

And let's just say--

Mary Hart is NOT working out