Tammy Tries on Pants

Tammy tries on pants
In the backyard
Where the broken mirror
Rests against the tree

She tries them on
While Roger sits inside
Fiddling with the pipes

The plumber's wife

That's her
The plumber's wife

But he makes a good living
Still

Somehow that never seemed
As satisfying
As being the wife
Of an artist

And Roger ain't making such a good living
Anymore

It becomes necessary
To start thinking
About bringing in extra income

This job falls on Tammy

So she tries on pants

She normally wears skirts
Short skirts
Really short skirts

But that was before
Before she needed to think about getting a job
And she realized she was too old
To get a job as a waitress
At the places where the customers
Tip big enough to pay the rent

So now she was going to get a real job
And that was just fine with her

She instantly regretted
Buying the pants
In the sizes that she did

She had a nice ass
And it showed
It really showed
And that wasn't good

People didn't need to be looking at her ass
They needed to be looking in her eyes
Taking her seriously

Then there were the pants
That showed off too much ankle
And ankles weren't bad
But hers were getting big

Too big

And she needed to hide them
But what was the solution for that?

Bell bottoms?

Upon trying on one pair
She saw that she had turned into her mother
A woman who never looked pretty
Her entire life

Tammy forgot that she had that in her
To look so plain

The tops she got to match
Were even worse

She wondered if it was possible
To look serious and pretty
Or if people stopped respecting you
The minute they started wanting to sleep with you

Roger always wanted to sleep with her
That was never an issue
He just never wanted to listen to her

Maybe it was her fault
Maybe the pants looked fine
And it was just her insecurity
Thinking she looked boring

With the pants on
She had to look at her face
Nothing but her face

Something she'd never paid much attention to

When you have a nice body
You can work it
And work other eyes away
From the parts of you
That you don't like

When you cover yourself up
All you have are two eyes
And begging

Even when she managed to use big words
And mention the college she got into
Before she had to drop out
Because Carter was born

They still dismissed her
Behind their glasses

So why bother?

Couldn't anyone come up with something
That makes you look sexy
But still all about the business?

Could someone make something like that?

Please?

She gave up

She threw on some old jeans
And one of Rob's big white t-shirts
Finally collapsing on the couch
Trying to sneak in a nap
Before grabbing Chinese
From the place down the road

She awoke to find Roger sitting on the couch with her
Stroking her back
His hand warm against her skin
Underneath the t-shirt

'You tired?'
'Yeah.'
'I can go get the food.'
'It's not about the food. It's me being another dumb old lady who used to have nice tits.'

Roger dropped something
On the coffee table

It was a course catalogue
With a hi lighter on top of it

Then he whispered in her ear--

'If you're dumb, then I'm even dumber for marrying you and loving you and having my kids with you, and I'm no dummy, Miss Tits--and they still look damn good.'

Then he lifted her up
All of her
All the hairspray
And lipstick
And fake nails
And heart

And he took her to the pool outside
And threw her in

Her laughing the whole time