And Then There's Brian

Okay, so you just want me to...

Just...

Okay

All my clothes?

I mean, I realize I'm going to be in the shower, but--

I've never, um...

I've never been naked...

With another guy before, I mean

I've been naked in the shower before
I mean, I've showered
I've obviously washed
All my...parts...

But I've never...

And there's gonna be...

...Touching...

...which is...

...really fantastic, but, haha...

So, um, are we actually going to be...showering?

Or just...other stuff?

I mean, I guess we should shower
AFTER we do the other stuff
But will there be...any...cleansing...before that?

Not that I'm dirty!
I showered right before I came over here
But I didn't shampoo
Because I wanted to leave something for you

Which...I thought was sweet...but, now it just sounds weird...

...Is there any chance I could leave my shirt on?

I just...I feel really awkward about my torso...

It's just...it's...not...my best feature

It might look hot

Me, soaking wet
In a white t-shirt
Very...Calvin Klein circa early 90's?

I used to have this great Calvin Klein ad
In this magazine that I...

My Dad walked in on me once
Ironically, in the bathroom

No wonder I'm so hard right now
It's probably memory recall

Whenever I'm in a bathroom
I instantly get aroused

You should see the looks I get at urinals...

Hahaha--oh God, that sounds disgusting

So--leave the t-shirt on?

Fuck, Paul
Look, I'm really nervous, okay?

I don't know if you realize this
But you are not about to hook up
With some supermodel, okay?

You are about to shower
With a guy
That has no muscle
No definition
Hairy legs
And weird nipples

Now, I can't shield you
From all of the horror
But can I at least protect you
From some of it?

I know being naked is no big deal to you
You're naked on stage every week in front of people
But some of us are still really scared of the prospect
Of being naked in front of anyone
And then participating in naked activities
That might make our nakedness even more...unappealing

Have you ever seen a naked person trip?
It's the grossest thing ever

I saw it once online
There was this video that I thought was...something else
And it turned out to just be this clip
Of this naked guy falling over and over again

It was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life

You wouldn't think it would be
But it is

Paul, you're really cute
I'm trying to do something
To level the odds here

Either I can keep my shirt on
Or you can put on a Richard Nixon Halloween mask
But somehow
We've got to even up the score

I...

I just can't imagine somebody looking at me naked
And thinking--Wow, yeah, I want that

I mean, I'm not...the sexy one

In my group of friends

There's the sexy one
There's the smart sexy one one
There's the mysteriously sexy one
There's the 'they should really slow down' sexy one

And then there's Brian

And I'm okay with that
I've gotten used to that

I--

Huh?

Okay, okay, okay

Fine

Off it goes--

. . . . .

See?

Nothing special, right?

What?

No, really, what?

Why are you smiling?

Hahaha--seriously?

Wow

It's just...

Um...

I never thought...

Yeah

Who knew?

Hahaha

Okay

I'm ready