Cal Kelly's Boyfriend Might Be God

Um, so, my boyfriend might be God
Because he turned my heart
Into a rainbow
With different colors
Of love
And happiness
And arteries
And more love

Annnnnnd he might be God
Because sometimes I want him to call me
And then, like, two hours later
He'll call me
So it's like
He knows everything

Annnnnnd he might be God
Because he inspires trust in me
Like, we've only been together three days
But I already feel totally comfortable
Giving him the passwords to my bank accounts
And my e-mail accounts
And the keys to my car
And to my apartment
And I signed a contract saying that if I die
He gets to keep everything I own
And sell my hair to wig makers

That's how awe-inspiring he is

My boyfriend might be God
Because everybody loves him
And the people who don't
Are just jealous
Because he's so gorgeous
And we're so happy together
And it doesn't even matter
That his crazy ex-boyfriend
Still posts pictures of the two of them on his wall
And doctors them so that it looks like they were taken two days ago
When really they're super old
And so he wasn't making out with his ex on the beach
And at a party
And at his mom's house
And in a photo studio
And the other night he was totally at work like he said he was
And--

Wait, where was I going with this?

Oh right

He might be God because he's perfect
And not conceited at all
Which is why we get along
Because we're both wicked humble
And amazingly talent and intelligent
Unlike lots of other people

And he might be God because he's mine
And because I wouldn't date anyone less

(How hot is that last line? Crazy hot, right?

I know)