Eight Steps Back

I'm rushing
I'm hurrying
To get there before you

I'm in a mad dash
A passionate marathon
To get to the place
Where I should have
Five years ago
Before you show up there
Before me

I'm scared that you'll get there
And look around
Before I've had a chance
To clean up
And throw out
All the bullshit I accrued
While pursuing progress

I'm scared you'll finish the test
Then rest and wait
Leaving me debating
Whether I even want to keep meeting you
Since you've finished my movie

I'm not sure I'd want
Your assessment of me
Before I could tidy it up
And scrub up the floors

I'm on my way, I know that
But that doesn't mean
You won't get there ahead of me

And so I'd rather keep you
Eight steps back
So I can keep track
Of how much of me you're getting
And that way I'm not fretting
That you'll figure me out
What I'm about to do
Before I do

I'm scared that's ultimately
You getting ahead of me
Is how I'd lose you