Paul, Onstage

Hehehe...

Hehehe...

Hehehe...

Oh God...

I'm sorry, I just...

Hehehe...

Ugh, I know

I know!

I'm not an 'artist'

I am not a serious actor

But...hehehe

There are VAGINAS
Within three feet of me

I'm sorry

Hehehe...

Oh my God...

And I know those vaginas
Those are the vaginas
Of girls I know
Those are FAMILIAR vaginas

Which is...

Hehehe...

I know!

Oh God

My mother would love this

She's a total former hippie
She'd love being in 'Hair'
I think she was in 'Hair' at one point
And was so drugged out
She didn't even realize it

She'd be cavorting around this rehearsal hall right now
Telling everyone to link arms
And sing 'Good Morning Starshine'

I haven't even TOLD my sister I'm doing this yet
She got nervous seeing me snort fake cocaine
In the last show I was in

Something tells me she'll be skipping this one

I am not scared of my sexuality, Eve

What narcissist ex-boyfriend did you pick
That little nugget of psychology up from?

Sounds like this model I used to date
Well, no, he wasn't a real model
He modeled for artists
Nude modeling, as a matter of fact

I used to give him shit for it
Which is probably why I'm standing here now

Because karma is cruel

Cruel, cruel, cruel

Nooo, I like my body just fine
Aside from my legs, ass, and chest

Look at that tattoo on Jerry's thigh

'Going Down'--Question mark

Do you think he got that for the show
Or do you think he just...had it?

Hehehe...

Well, you've got to laugh, Eve
I mean, you REALLY just have to laugh

People spend their entire lives
Avoiding being naked in a room full of people
And here we are

Naked

In a room full of people

It doesn't get much sillier than this

Hehehe...

I'm sorry but Carl's penis
Looks like an elephant's trunk

It does!

Eve, it does
Look at it

I'm not making fun!
I'm just observing

His penis looks like an elephant's trunk
My ass looks like two misshapen grapefruits
And your nipples are almost non-existent

I mean nobody here looks GOOD

Donny's penis looks like a pastry bag
Like a half-empty pastry bag

God, that is horrific

Penises are horrific
And I opt to love them
What does that say about me?

What does it say about you?

Oh relax

None of us are Greek statues

We're just people
We're just naked people

I actually do feel sort of...free

Your whole life you feel insecure
You feel ugly
You feel like if you were ever naked
And other people saw you
They'd be horrified

But you know...

We're naked
And it's...funny
But...

Nobody seems horrified

I mean, I'm looking at you
And you're--naked
And you look--nice, actually

I mean, obviously
I'm not particularly...interested...

But, you do
You look good, Eve

I'd hug you
But I think that might throw me into another
Sexual identity crisis

I mean, who cares?
You know?

Who really cares?

We all look goofy and stupid and NOT sexy and...

It's kinda awesome

Hehehe...

Sorry, old habits

Well, this has really been a life-changing experience
And you know what?

Once it's over

We're never going to talk about it again

We're going to go back to being shame-filled people
Who hate our bodies

And why?

Why can't be this a life-altering experience?

Why can't we all hold each other and embrace our nakedness and sing out loud?

Okay, maybe I'm getting carried away

I just feel like...Like I discovered a secret weapon inside myself that I didn't know I had

Until I was fourteen I was this chubby little kid who couldn't even look at himself in the mirror after he took a shower

And now...

I'm not bad, you know?

I'm really not

And you're not either

We're naked, and it's fine

We're okay

We're great

We're...

You look beautiful, Eve

You really do

And me...I...Well...What?

Yeah?

Yeah

I do

I am

It's...

Wow