The Actors Getting Notes

-- I meant to write about this the first time Andrew and I discussed it, but I forgot until last night. --

"The Actors Getting Notes"

(Raises hand)

Umm...sommmmme people are not getting out of the way fast enough when other people were trying to move really quickly because some people have lead roles and lots of stuff to do whereas other people do not have lead roles and so they don't really need to be in the way of people who do have lead roles so could those people who don't have lead roles just try not to be in the way of other people who do...?

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(Raises hand)

Excuse me, but I was wondering--Normally, I'm stage right during that song, but tonight I wound up being slightly more left--still stage right, but slightly left--was that okay? Did you mind that? Should I try not to wind up there? Okay, because I tried not to wind up there, but I did wind up there, and I wind up there again, so I was just making sure that was okay. Okay.

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(Raises hand)

Um, you told us all to be more enthusiastic during the finale, and I was trying to be more enthusiastic, and I was just wondering if you noticed that?

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(Raises hand)

So when I'm moving that box during Act One, Scene Two from almost-completely-offstage to offstage, do you want me to do that in character?

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(Raises hand)

Ummm, so, soooome people seem to not know their parts for the beginning of Act Two, and they're singing right into the ears of other people who DO know their parts for the beginning of Act Two, which is really throwing off the people who know their parts, so could those people that don't REALLY LOOK OVER THEIR PARTS so that this doesn't happen?

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(Raises hand)

I was just wondering if you could sense my vulnerability during that scene where I'm behind everyone, because I'm worried that my vulnerability isn't coming through as much when all those people are in front of me. Is it?

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(Raises hand)

So, I know it's, like, four in the morning, but I feel like when I'm that first stock character in Act One, Scene One, I'm not as distinct in terms of my beats as I am in Act Two, Scene Three, and I feel like it's making my performance inconsistent. Would you agree or disagree with that?

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(Raises hand)

Do you believe in God?

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(Raises hand)

Ummm, sooo, soommme peeeople, whose initials may or may not be JE, middle initial V, are stepping to the left during the first part of the swing dance when they should be stepping to the right, and it's destroying the entire number and corrupting the artistic integrity of the show. Soo...Could people with the initials JE, middle initial V, not do that anymore?

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(Raises hand)

I decided that my character in Act Two, Scene Four, kills herself immediately after walking offstage. Thoughts?

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(Raises hand)

I'm really worried that I don't have enough time to put on my bow tie between Act One and Act Two. I know we have intermission, but I'm just concerned that I'm going to hit my head on something, pass out, wake up right before places are called for Act Two, and then not have my bow tie on. Could we figure out what to do about that?

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(Raises hand)

Do you hate me? Because I feel like you hate me.

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(Raises hand)

Ummm, sooooooooo, soommmmmme peeeeeeople are clearly special needs, and cannot figure out that they shouldn't be getting as many laughs as they're getting when they do their lines because they're not LEADS whereas some of us are LEADS and so SOME OF US should be pulling back so as not to OVERSHADOW the people who are SUPPOSED to be...um...shadowed. Sooooo, could certain, stupid, untalented, scene-stealing hams try NOT to be who they are so as not to wind up with their throats cut backstage? Thanks.

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(Raises hand)

Do you think my character's mother made her compete in beauty pageants even though she really didn't want to and one time, at a pageant, an older gentlemen told her she looked like Krissy Kerson and she didn't know who that was, and when she finally thought of it the other day, she looked it up, and Krissy Kerson was murdered by her older uncle, and they never found him, and that was probably him, and now she's having nightmares about being dressed up in her old pageant outfit, poisoned, and thrown in a lake...or something?

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(Raises hand)

Should I be keeping my eyes open without blinking for all of Act One or just part of it? At what point should I blink?

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(Raises hand)

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, soooooooooooo, soooooooooooooome peeeeeeeeeeeeeople should probably not have gotten in this show.

...Just a thought.