Okay, first off
It's not that I don't think they should get married
I think people should be able to do whatever they want
But statistics have shown
That when they get married
They have kids
And when they have kids
Those kids tend to turn up straight
I mean, sure
Some turn out gay
But when they do
The straight people don't know how to raise them
And is that fair to the kids?
Plus studies have shown
That if you were to let them get married
More than half would end up getting divorced anyway
So what's the point?
I mean, right?
Would getting married even HAVE value at that point?
If more than half of them
Aren't dedicated enough to make it
Then why don't we just let animals get married?
Why don't we let furniture pair off?
Why don't we let muffins marry tractor trailers?
I mean, if you're going to make a mockery of it--
Plus, have you seen the television lately?
THEY'RE ALL OVER IT!
Sex and the City
Gossip Girl
Anything on VH1
Those people have no business getting married
All they want to do is sleep around
And do drugs
I'm not against them
I'm just stating facts
I'm all for letting have their little church ceremonies
And legalized unions
But marriage--
I mean, that's a very hefty word
And quite frankly
I just don't think they've earned it
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