Crazy Little Things

I'm so glad you're happy
I'm so glad you're not desperately dating
Going out every night
In the hopes of trying to find someone else
Before I do

Because that would be unhealthy
Only a crazy person would do that

You're NOT doing that, are you?

Are you?

Because if you were
I'd understand
I mean, it'd be crazy
But I'd totally understand

...If you were doing that

Or, let's say, if you were checking my profile everyday
Or asking our mutual friends about me
Or driving by my work to see if I had called out sick
Just so I could stay home with my new lover
Who's probably that cable repairman that you were--

--I was--flirting with a month ago

I mean, if you were doing those things
I would totally understand why
And I wouldn't judge you at all
Not at all, not even a little
And I might even think it was sweet
And I might want to get back together with you
And finally move in together
And never leave me--you--me--again

So...anything you want to talk about?

No?

Okay, well...

I'm so glad you're happy
I'm glad somebody is