The Thalia Monologue

-- Leann and I were talking about muses, and look what happened... --

"The Thalia Monologue"

Could such a man dare try to make me laugh?
Does he not know that I am the muses of comedy?
That I, and I alone, dictate humor
To the artist?

And what does this virtuoso of mirth
This paramour of giggles
Attempt to tickle great Thalia with?

A banana peel

He has tried to provoke me
With a sight gag

So I have turned him into a monkey

He likes bananas so much
Let him adore them
Let him live off them
Let him worship them

For he certainly does not worship me
If he thought I'd crack up
Over a Laurel and Hardy routine
Such as that one

God, it is so tiring
Being merry

How often have I had to lean over
And whisper into an artist's ear--

'It would be funnier if her name was Penelope."

And sometimes they listen
And sometimes they don't

Lately, it's been all about sex
Mainly because I'm amorous

I can't help it
It's been eons

ACTUAL eons

Besides, sex is funny
Especially when mortals do it

All that bumbling and fumbling

The last time I made love
We created a new kind of dawn
And then made a river
In which to dip our toes

I told Calliope that story
And she stole it
And turned it into an epic poem
For one of her artists

She didn't even apologize either
She thinks because she's the muse of epic poetry
She's somehow above me

They all think that
Every one of them

Let them try to make Twelfth Night FUNNY
And then I shall allow them to judge me

Ah, but now I must retire
Tomorrow I shall turn the monkey
Back into a man
Which is really just a monkey
Without the common sense

He will have learned his lesson
And perhaps next time when he visits
He'll bring a bigger banana