If You're Not Home for Christmas

If you're not home for Christmas
The snow will melt
The decorations will fade
The lights will not be bright
There will be Christmas
But it will be a solemn Christmas

At your place at the dinner table
There will be a photo of you
And we will talk to it
As if it is really you
When really it isn't
And we know it isn't
And it won't touch the ham we put in front of it

And we all think--What a bitch

If you're not home for Christmas
There will be no Christmas music
There will be no holiday movies
There will be no eggnog

And children will weep
And dogs will weep
And overall there will just be
Quite a bit of weeping

It'll be very dramatic
And not in a good way

And it won't be fun
And we won't be full of mirth
And there won't be dancing ladies
Or milking maids or partridges
That play the drums and leap everywhere

The presents will be returned
And exchanged for practical things

Karaoke machines for spatulas
Cappuccino makers for encyclopedias
Party games for polo sweaters

(Okay, maybe we kept the polo sweaters)

Trees will be taken down IMMEDIATELY
And taken away by the garbage collectors
The very next day

Christmas will end the second it is over
And not linger at all
As it sometimes likes to do

The children will be sent back to school
Far sooner than they should be
And New Year's Eve and New Year's Day
Will be disregarded
As minor holidays
Always overshadowed
By a big day that has now become gloomy
And sad

If you're not home for Christmas
Even Cindy Loo Who won't be able
To expand our aortas

Nor will George Bailey
Or Rudolph
Or the leg lamp
Or Grandma
Or the reindeer that ran over Grandma
Or the chipmunks
Or that donkey
Or Charlie Brown

We'll just be sad
It'll all be sad
All sad

A sad, sad Christmas

All because you can't be home
And without you there is no home
And without you there can be Christmas
But it won't be much of a Christmas
At all

. . . . .

But I suppose...

We'll try
We'll try to have Christmas
A nice Christmas

Knowing that though you may not be home

You're safe
You're healthy
You're a phone call
You're an e-mail
You're a plane ride

Away

Knowing that we're lucky
That we have you
In whatever way we have you
And that even if you're not here
You're still kind of here

You're always kind of here

But just know
That if you're not home for Christmas
There's a whole lot of people
Who think Christmas means family
And love
And support
And friendship
And joy

And so, to many people
You're Christmas

And we'll have Christmas
Just to have you
If even for a day
If only in our dreams