She's Got a Boy For Every Show

She's got a boy for every show

When she did Hamlet
She dated Claudius
And Polonius
And Laertes
Which is sick
Because she was playing Ophelia

So basically, the bitch was dating her brother
And her father
But ironically
She wasn't dating Hamlet
Because Hamlet was dating the Gravedigger

When she did Tartuffe
She dated Tartuffe
Then said he was fake
Which was like--

Well, yeah, he's Tartuffe

When she did Oedipus
She dated Tiresias
Then broke it off
Because she couldn't see a future with him

When she did Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
She dated Brick
But called it quits
When he wanted to wear her costume
To the cast party

When she did A Chorus Line
She dated the director
The real director
Not the director in the show

When she did Barefoot in the Park
She hated the guy playing Paul
So she wound up with the lighting designer

She's got a boy for every show
I'm a little worried though

Because next month

She's directing Twelve Angry Men