Bus Detective

He thinks I don't know
That he's going to steal my sandwich
I wasn't born yesterday
I was not--

--Born yesterday

A man gets on a bus
With a sandwich
With hope
With the hope that his sandwich
And his person
Will be safe
From harm or foul

And what happens?

Another man boards
A rich man
A man with a tie on
Like he's something
Oh, he's something with his TIE
And now all of a sudden
The air is tense
It's acrid
It tastes like paste
And glue
And plastic
And that's how you know
That trouble
Is afoot

He looks down the bus at me
I smile because I am polite
Because I was brought up proper
Raised well
Because I know men in ties
And how to talk silently
To men
In ties

And so we have an unwritten, unspoken understanding
That is instantly violated
As soon as he realizes
That in my little blue bag here
I have the most enticing sandwich
That was ever made
On any given day
In history

I don't blame him
How could I?

Nor do I condone him
Or his desires
His envy

He'll try to steal my sandwich
Battle will ensue
The bus will flatten its tires
And the other passengers
Will be forced to board taxis
To get to their scheduled destinations

But I will emerge victorious
Because a man in a tie
Does not know how to fight
Not really
Not truly
Not a true warrior
Such as myself

A Bus Detective

We are disguised
But we reveal ourselves
When what we have
What little we have
Is threatened

So come, Man in Tie
Bring me your fight

I welcome it

Just wait until the next stop sign
And I'll show you how the wheels
Go round
And round
And round