I float above the fake coral reef
And something about it relaxes me
Bertha is turning one today
Which, when you're a fish
And your owner is six
Is a huge accomplishment
Katie overfeeds Bertha
But I'm not going to be the one to tell her that
It's not my place
Although I like Bertha
She gets me
They added a scuba man to the tank today
Which, in my opinion
Destroys the careful aesthetic
That has taken months to achieve
But then again, what can I expect from an owner
Who puts a naked Barbie doll in the tank
And then falls over laughing
Like an anatomically uncorrect doll
Is going to be so pleasant for me to wake up to
I swam out of the coral reef
And there she was
I nearly exploded
From shock
And she stayed there
That awful Barbie doll
For at least a month
It was like living in the Playboy grotto
I even started wearing a robe
You know, I try not to complain about stuff like that
Because my step-brother Kirk
Was assigned to a snake
And he doesn't mind the snake so much
But snakes don't seem to understand the symbiotic relationship
Between themselves and other tank inhabitants
Who are put there
To add a little flavor
To the whole situation
So the snake tried eating Kirk
And it was this big administrative nightmare
And finally he wound up in a hamster cage
Which is so much worse
Believe it or not
Because of the smell
And the endless cycling of those awful wheels
I did a hamster cage for two years
Before they gave me a fish tank
Which is the ideal
I mean, do you have any idea
How many people would kill
To have an exotic fish tank assignment?
Plus the hot water is included
I mean, it's--
So things like the Barbie...
Well, it makes me say--
Gee, why would you give such a nice fish
And such a nice tank
To such a young kid?
But again, not my business
The kid's obviously trying to get somebody's attention
But not my affair
Not at all
I just float above the coral reef
Past the new scuba man
And let Bertha swim around
Underneath me
It's a good life
It won't last long
But while it lasts
It's pretty good
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