The Elephant Addresses the Room

Okay, can I just say something?

Clearly, there's a lot of tension in this room right now

For one thing, nobody's looking at me

And that makes me feel...

Well?

How do you all think that would make me feel?

Scott, would you like to start?

Clearly, you said something hateful to Terri
And I think maybe you should address that

I think we all need to start addressing our issues with each other

For example, I have an issue with the fact
That this dining room is painted mauve

I mean, is it a place where we eat
Or is it a French woman's bathroom?

I'm just going to let that sit for a second

You know what?  I'm sorry

I thought about how judgmental I must have sounded just then
And I want to own that
And disown it

You see what I'm doing?

Of course not, none of you are looking at me

Well, look at me and know
That I'm owning something
I'm wrapping my nose around it
And squeezing it as hard as I can
And then I'm letting it fall to the ground
Having murdered whatever it was that was bothering me

I could also step on it
But that would just be unnecessary

Terri, do you want Scott to own and disown
What he just said to you?

Of course you do, Terri
Stop being so strong all the time

You're not a lion tamer
And if you were
I'd say 'Hey Lion Tamer, tell your lions to stop saying I'm the opening act and they're the main event because that makes my heart hurt.'

Hahaha ohhhh we all have stuff, don't we?

What's important
Is that we don't ignore
The things that are bothering us

Otherwise, they get bigger and bigger
And pretty soon, there's an elephant
Sitting in your hideous dining room
Wondering why you ordered pizza for dinner
Three nights in a row
Like some sort of fraternity house

Sorry, that was Judge Jump-to-Conclusions
Banging his gavel
One more time

But at least I'm saying what I'm saying
At least I'm letting it out

At least I'm looking at Scott and saying--

YOU IMPLIED TERRI HAS A PROBLEM WITH EATING
WHEN YOU ASKED IF SHE REALLY WANTED
THAT EXTRA PIECE OF PIZZA, YOU BASTARD!

But you know, we all need to do things
In our own time

So I'll give you that time

Annnnnnnnnnnnd in the meanwhile
I'm going to go in the living room
And read Mitch Albom's new book
Because frankly
It's getting a little stuffy in here