Martin Goofs Off on the Subway

Geez, Martin, take off the stupid mask
It ain't gonna make me feel better

I show up at a dance thinking I'm there for Danny
And there he is with Nikki, ugh, I could die

You should have given me your mask
My mask couldn't even cover my face

Everybody could see how upset I was
And that's worse than getting a dance invitation all mixed up

It's worse having everybody see
That you didn't even know you were getting stood up for someone else
Until you showed up
And saw it
With your very own eyes

Danny tries telling me he's going to Iraq
And Nikki's an easier lay

And I'm goin', 'Yeah, Danny, everybody knows that
But goin' to Iraq ain't what it used to be
You don't know you're gonna die
And you might want a wife when you get back
And good luck making one out of Nikki'

And by then I'm so mortified
And everybody starts giggling
And the next thing I know
I'm on the phone with my mother
Begging her to come get me
So I don't have to take the subway
In this stupid Statue of Liberty costume

Are you going to say anything, Martin?
Or are you just going to keep trying
To make me laugh?

I'm not gonna laugh
Not now
Not ever again

Let it forever be known
That sixteen was the year
The laughter died

Martin, I'm not dancing with you
So just sit down

I was going to throw you a bone at the dance
In between dancing with Danny
But I'm not getting up on the subway
At ten o'clock on a Friday night
And dancing around as the Statue of Liberty
And you all done up like a zombie frog
Or whatever the hell you are

I don't owe you that big a bone, Martin
So quit goofing off

And let me be sad
I'm heartbroken and hungry
And my torch is wet
And I just want to be sad

...But you do look pretty stupid, I'll say that

And stupid's better than Danny
Who's all suave
And poetic
Because he thinks the army's going to be dumb enough
To give him anything more
Than a desk job

I like you, Martin

You hang around
Even when you think
Hanging around
Ain't gonna do you no good

That's the kinda guy
Every girl needs