Learn the Language

So there we are in Spain
Me and Bill
And nobody speaks English
I mean, nobody
And I think that's a shame
I said, 'Bill, I'm as liberal as the next girl
But when you can't find one English-speaking person
In all of Spain, I have to believe the world's going to Hell'

And Bill says, 'Well, that's okay, I speak Spanish'
And I say, 'Bill, you shouldn't have to speak Spanish
Just because we're in Spain.

We're Americans and we paid good money for this trip
And 'pancake' means the same thing
No matter where you are in the world'

We were at this restaurant
Attempting to order breakfast
And the waiter's looking at us
Like he's never heard of a pancake before
And I'm saying--'pancake, pancake'
And Bill's saying--'crepe, crepe'
And I'm saying--'Bill, if I wanted crepes, I'd go to France.  I want a pancake'
And the waiter's laughing at us
Which infuriates me

I will not be laughed at
In another language
By somebody who doesn't even know
What a pancake is

THIS was day ONE of the trip

I said, 'Bill, we should have gone to Tampa'
I said that right from the start
I said 'Let's go to Tampa and visit my sister'
But Bill always gets food poisoning in Tampa
Don't ask me why, but as soon as we land
And we're at my sister's house
He puts one spoonful of food in his mouth
And he's doubled over in pain

Of course, my sister's not the best cook
But she's certainly better than my mother
There's a reason my brother Ralph enlisted in the army
At the age of eleven

Anyway, we're stuck there in Spain
I can't get a pancake
And Bill keeps speaking in broken Spanish
To the Spaniards
Who refuse to meet us halfway

Finally--a salvation!
I found the only Ruby Tuesday's in Barcelona
If it hadn't been for that all-you-can-eat salad bar
I might have starved to death

Then I came home
And that was that

Bill?

Uh...well...

I guess he sort of liked it there

Nothing I could do about that
He always was...restless

I said, 'Bill, if you like it here so much--'
And I was about to say 'Stay'
But then he said--'I think I'm going to stay, Clarissa'
And I thought...

Well, I didn't know what to think

I mean, he didn't speak the language
And here, at home...

Here at home
I suppose I no longer spoke his

You can't cry about these things
What would be the point

So just sat there
Staring at my salad
Not saying anything

I don't think I had the words to say
What it was I was...

After forty years

I had nothing left
To say