What Matthew Did in the Rain

Matthew found a lamp post
And tried hanging from it like Gene Kelly
But he forgot that movie magic
Is something that appears infrequently
Outside of movies

And so he slipped off the lamp post
And landed in a giant puddle

It wasn't a 'sort of' moment
Where only some of him got wet
Where something of his dignity could be salvaged
Or where the splash didn't erupt
Like a suppressed volcano finally let out on the town
And many, many people were there to witness it
Because a diner across the street
Was full of customers
Who had run in
To get shelter from the rain

So Matthew was there
In a fully-formed moment
Of embarrassment
And precipitation
And a noticeable lack
Of cinematic hocus pocus

So Matthew had a choice

He could either stand up
And waddle home
Squeaking in his squeaky shoes
All the way there

He could shake his fists
At the folks in the diner
Because now they were laughing at him
And laughing loudly

He could put his head back underwater
And refuse to come up
Thereby ending this infernal life
Of excruciating humiliation

Or...

He got up
Smiled
And started kicking

He kicked the water
Up into the air
As if his pride were hidden
Somewhere under the water
And if he kicked hard enough
It would reveal itself
Like a lost child
Looking to reunite
With its mother

When the people in the diner saw
What Matthew was doing in the rain
There was a moment of shock

And then...

Well, it was sort of like when you're at a barbecue
Early on in the summer
And there's a pool
And nobody's swimming in it
Because nobody specifically said
That this was a pool party
And so people are standing around the edge of the pool
Dressed in nice clothing
That really doesn't wear well wet
And everybody's warm
But not hot
And the pool looks nice
But not exactly inviting
And then out of the blue
Some schmuck dives into the pool
In a cannonball position
And makes a gigantic splash
And then everybody realizes
That all they really want to do
Is dive into the pool
And be just like the schmuck

And in this instance
In the rain
Matthew
Was that schmuck

So within seconds
Everybody was filing out of the diner
Running around in the rain
Splashing puddles
And splashing each other
And splashing anything
That could be splashed

No bus stop bench
Or store window was safe

The world had suddenly decided
That dry
Was a drab thing
To be

And so water was everywhere
And indeed
There really was not a drop to drink
But nobody cared
Because everybody decided
Not to care
And that was a very liberating thing

And all because of what Matthew did in the rain

And if this sounds like a fairy tale
Well...we suppose it is

After all it ends with a--

Happily Ever After

And a splash