What I Knew About My Job

Did I know they were holding them against their will?

I know that our patients were unruly
They were tranquilized most of the time
And I was told--from the very beginning, I was told
That our patients--that the people we were helping
Had serious mental instability
And so when they would...say things
When they would say they were, uh, being kept, you know
Against their, uh, will
I didn't--I mean, I just assumed it was rambling

That these people were sick
And that they were fantasizing
That they were imagining things that weren't true
And so, no, I didn't put much thought into it
And I went right along
Doing my job

And then one day, one of our patients get loose
I mean, she--overpowers a nurse
And gets down the hall
Jumps through one of the windows
Like some sort of--like the Hulk, or something
And she just...runs away

And so I go to call the police
And somebody stops me--the Chief of Staff
He puts his hand on my shoulder
And says--Go home, we'll handle it
And I think--Why go home?  I have two hours left on my shift
And won't they need the help finding the patient?
But no, I'm released--I'm told, ordered, to go home
So I do, and...

Within an hour there are police
Outside my front door
Guns drawn
The whole nine yards

The, uh, patient informed them
That she was being kept against her will
And apparently that was...

It was true.

And I had no idea

But of course nobody believes that
Because she told me
I mean, many of them told me--told all of us
That what was happening was...happening
And we...just accepted what we'd been told

I won't omit the fact
That all of us
Were making extremely good money
Working there
So maybe that's why...who knows?

It's impossible to say

I just know that now I have to answer
For my own obliviousness
And I understand that
I can understand why people are...mad

But what's important to remember
Is that accepting what you're told
And doing your job
And assuming you're not participating
In some kind of living nightmare
Is not unusual
It's not a crime

I mean, I was told something
And I believed it
And that, apparently
Makes me a criminal

Does it make me stupid?
Yes, absolutely
But a criminal?
No

No, I don't think so

I...

I don't...

I don't think so...but...

Sometimes I wonder
What it is
I believed
Really believed
And what
I didn't