The Fall of Rome Daycare

We assassinated the teddy bear at noon
Because Mikey was attempting to declare himself
Supreme Leader of the Rome, New Hampshire Daycare
And we were concerned, as a ruling body
The Daycare Congress--elected by the children at the Daycare
Minus the infants, of course, who are stupid
And prone to sympathizing with socialists
--We were concerned that he was ignoring the democrat system
We had worked so hard to put in place

So we decapitated his teddy bear

Oh, he cried, of course
Which only further proves
That he's not fit to serve as Grand High Emperor
Of the Rome Daycare Congress
And that he should probably go play
With the Pacifists with Pacifiers
Or the Anti-Nappers

What we need is someone strong
To take this daycare to the next level
And by that, of course, I mean Kindergarten

Do you have any idea what it takes
To get into a college these days?

In fourteen years
When we're all ready to apply
They'll expect us to be able to levitate objects
Using only our minds

And Mikey would have us
Keep writing on coloring
And finger painting
And taking extra playground time
Instead of focusing on weapons production
And submarine operation

Things we're actually going to need
When 2026 rolls around

Before we go any further
I'd like to take full responsibility
For beheading Teddy

It was supposed to be a group effort
But Bobby wet his pants
And Marcus claimed he could hear the teddy bear
Begging him to have mercy

I said--'Even if that's true, there's no room for mercy in an empire!'
And then I took the head off
Tied Teddy to the merry-go-round
And left him there overnight
For the squirrels to pick at

This is how we do things in Rome
Otherwise, we'll have chaos
And also head lice
Because that teddy bear was filthy

So yes, I had to make a hard decision
In the name of democracy

But I made it
And I stick by it

And as soon as I finish this bottle
I'm going to go right back
To making more hard decisions
Because that's what running a daycare is all about

That and finding out what happened to those sugar cookies
We were getting at snacktime

I miss those

But whoever got rid of them will pay

Oh trust me
They'll pay