Marvin and the Martians

Marvin sees the Martians
At 2:46am, Eastern Standard Time
While laying in bed
Reading The Fanged Barber
Already terrified
When suddenly
A whoosh goes over his house
And everything in the room shakes
Including his pet gerbil McMillan
But Marvin, and only Marvin
Sees the blue saucers
As they fly overhead

. . . . . .

Marvin has an overactive imagination
Which is why he's in the gifted program at school
And we're very proud of him
But he does tell stories
Not lies, but stories
And it's important to remember
That he means well
And he's not trying to be dishonest
But nevertheless, they're stories
And we've encouraged him to take up writing

. . . . .

The alien spacecraft went over my house
Shooting huge silver bombs down into the ground
Going BANG BANG AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! PEOPLE SCREAMED!
But then all the people's memory was wiped clean
AndnobodyknewanythingexceptMARVINNNNNNNNNN
Because he. Has. BEen.  CHOSEN!
To fight the aliens
Wiiiiith the help of his sidekick McMillan!
He is set to go into space tomorrow NIGHT!
To Be?  Continued!

. . . . .

First of all, we dropped no bombs
Nor did we intend to scare a seven-year-old boy
Although why anyone would keep a gerbil in their room
Is beyond us
We once visited an entire planet of gerbils
And it was filthy
And the gerbils were very inhospitable
We'd happily apologize to Marvin for scaring him
But we're already on Neptune
Playing in a water polo tournament

. . . . .

I pretended to be asleep
But I'd know the sound of that rocket anywhere
It's just like the one that kidnapped me from my home planet
And brought me to Earth
Far, far from my home
A entire world filled with nothing but gerbils
Back then I was named Emperor Phillip
And now I'm McMillan
And not special at all
Although I suppose they could have dropped me on Neptune
Where they'd eat me for good luck
Right before playing water polo
So really I shouldn't be complaining

. . . . .

I found Marvin's book report
To be lacking in some areas
For one thing
It wasn't about an actual book
And for another
There were egregious spelling errors
Although I commend him
On his personal sense of style
And also...

I saw them too

Twenty-six years ago
Outside the Biscuit Barn
In Palermo, Montana
They were the size of elephants
And they told me to get a job teaching children
And that one day they would come get me
AND the children
And that I should prepare for a new dimension!

. . . . .

We have never, ever met that woman
We resent being called elephant-like in any way
We have no urge to take her anywhere

. . . . .

Marvin falls asleep the next night
Holding a baseball bat
And a copy of Zap! Stories from Neptune

His mother takes the book out of his hands
And sets it down on his dresser

From now on, she thinks
I have to make him stick to Dr. Seuss