Mrs. Brugel Explains the Economy

Hello children!

I'm so excited
Because today is our lesson
On the economy

One day you boys and girls will grow up
To run the world
So it's important you understand
How the world works
In dollars and cents!

It just makes sense, doesn't it?

Hahahahaha I see nobody paid attention during my 'puns' lesson this afternoon

Well--moving on

The economy is a very tricky subject
So I'm going to try and keep it as simple as possible
Since you're all only in third grade
And then tomorrow we'll slowly work our way up
From addition and subtraction
To stock dividends
And projectile functions

In the meantime, let's just work it out
Like it's a story--all right?

I know you kids love storytime

You all get so excited
When I bring in the Richard Mulligan puppet
And act out episodes of Empty Nest

Well, today all I have is my Lisa Rinna puppet
So I guess we'll have to make do with her
As I'm sure many a Hollywood producer has said

Now, let's say Lisa Rinna wants to buy new lips
Because hers look like Vienna sausages
I'm not saying they DO look like Vienna sausages
Or that Lisa Rinna once snubbed me
At a Sonic in Tulsa
But for the sake of argument
They're sausages
And someone should teach that woman that when someone hugs you
You're supposed to hug them back!

Anyway, Lisa wants new lips
This makes her the consumer
So she goes to see Dr. Feel Bad

Dr. Feel Bad is the supplier
And just what does he supply?

You guessed it, kids
Bad feelings

About yourselves
About your bodies
And about Lisa Rinna's sausage lips
Believe me, children, Lisa Rinna has so much to feel bad about
Lips should be the last thing on her mind

So Lisa Rinna goes to Dr. Feel Bad
And he says--By God, woman!  Your lips look like two caterpillars screwing on a pancake plate!
And she says--I know!  Fix me, Dr. Feel Bad!

So he does
He--big quotes here, children--'fixes' Lisa Rinna

And I say big quotes
Because honestly
Nobody can ever fix Lisa Rinna
It's just not possible

You hug her
And you hug her
And you hug her
And she never really hugs you back

In a lot of ways, Lisa Rinna is like the economy
You want it to bounce back
But you know it's not going to happen
At least not in your lifetime

So there you go!

The Economy

Now, I can put my Lisa Rinna puppet away
Take my Cynthia Nixon puppet out
And begin my lesson
On the value of humility