I'll Bet

Look at this nutjob
In front of me

You know what, I'll bet he's going to turn onto Hoover
All the nutjobs live on Hoover Street
I'll bet he's going to Hoover Street
To go knock up his wife
And shoot up
How much you wanna bet?
I'll bet a million bucks that he--

Oh, okay
Never mind
He's turning on Copeland

Well, that doesn't prove anything
A lot of nuts live on Copeland too

I'll bet he runs this red light
Watch him, he's going to run it
I'll bet any money
He's going to run this light
And then I'm going to have to chase after him
And make a citizen's arrest
And I'll probably get shot
By one of his Copeland goons

How much you wanna bet
It's going to happen like that
When he--

Okay, he's stopping

Probably has to reload his crackpipe

I'll bet he's stopping at that pawn shop on Copeland
To pawn off his mother's wedding ring
For drugs

I bet they give him an ounce of something for it
Right across the counter
That's how they do it these days

Even the pawn shops
Have lost all their dignity

I bet he trades in the wedding ring
His father's high school diploma
And his wife's kidney
All in one shot

How much you wanna bet he does?

Okay, he's pulling into the--

Is that the church parking lot?

Oh well, he's probably going to peddle smack
To the altar boys
In between services

Scum like this
They just make me wanna--

Look, he's getting out of the car

I'll bet he's going to be smoking a cigar and--

Oh.

Hang on...

HI SISTER!

IS THAT A NEW CAR?

OH RIGHT, THE RENTAL
BECAUSE YOU'RE LETTING THE ORPHANAGE
USE THE CHURCH'S VAN
FOR THEIR TRIP TO THE ZOO

NICE SEEING YOU!

...I'll bet she's really a man

How much you wanna bet?