A Magnificent View

You know, I got this apartment for the view
Only for the view

I said, if I'm going to live in San Francisco
I'm going to live at the top of a hill
Not at the bottom of one

Do you want some wine?
I have wine

The view's great, isn't it?
It's such a great view
And I pay for it, believe me

I mean, clearly, you can see
The apartment isn't much
It's really all about the view

Some mornings I get up
And before I pull back the curtains
I look around and I go--

Wow, I left Providence for this?

Providence is in Rhode Island
That's where I'm from
Are you sure you don't want any wine?

Anyway, I sit here on the couch
And, like, seriously realize
That if my arms were a little bit longer
I could touch both walls
On either side

And it's, like, super depressing
And I get kind of upset

Then I pull back the curtains
And there it is
This magnificent view

And I'm, like, oh right
That's why I'm here
Because we don't have views like that in Providence

Unless you live on, like, the East Side
Which I didn't
Because it was just too--

I don't know
I wasn't an East Side person
You kinda have to be
An East Side sort of person

And yet I'm a San Francisco sort of person
Which is weird
Because to the casual observer
They're probably not that different
And--

We're going to have sex, aren't we?

That's the plan, isn't it?
For us to have sex?

Gay sex in San Francisco

My first time, actually
Not sex
Not even gay sex
Just gay sex
In San Francisco

So, yeah, congrats!

Um, sorry, that was--

They don't do gay sex differently here, right?
I mean it all still goes in the same--

Okay, I'm going to stop talking now

And, um, but--

Is this going to be the kind of--sex
Where, like, we do it
And then you leave?

Because I'm really bad at that kind of sex
Like, I'm awful at it
Like, I'll probably cry
Not while you're still here
I'll be all--Yeah, it's cool.  Take off.  Scram.  Who needs ya?
All casual and stuff
And then you'll leave
And I'll lose my shit
And cry against the window
Like a character from French cinema or something
Like with a little red balloon or--

Anyway, I normally wouldn't tell you all this, obviously
But I'm a little drunk
And I don't get drunk
Not even a little drunk
Not often
And so I'm sharing a lot
I'm sharing, you know, with you
My fears, and oh God, you're probably mortified right now

I know I am
Well, I mean, you can leave
You probably want to leave
It's okay, just--

What?

Oh right, yeah
The view is definitely magnificent
Especially at night
With the lights coming off the--

Huh?

Well, what were you talking about?

Oh

Ohhh

Haha I've never, uh, I've never...

Been called that

Magnicifent

Who calls anybody mag--

You know what?

Why don't we close the curtains?

We can always open them again
In the morning