You Might Be Naked

Um, Krorg...?

You, uh...

You might be naked

Well, uh, naked
Naked is, uh
It's this word
We came up with, to, uh...

To describe how we look when we...
When we're not wearing any clothes

'Naked' is actually Simian
For--

For the love of the mastodon
Put some damn clothes on!

We decided a few weeks ago
That we were all going to--

It was at that meeting

I think you missed it
Because it was right around the time
When your sixth wife
Got eaten by that raptor

Anyway, we took a vote--

Well, first we decided
That we need to stop putting
All the kids with freckles
In that fighting dome
We built
Regardless of how funny it is
To see them hit each other with sticks

Then we decided that we all need to wear clothes
All the time
At least when we're outside of our caves

Inside your cave you can
Walk around with no rags on
Hit your wife over the head with a club
Pray to the Gods of Well Being
That your next son is born with hands

Live and let live, Krorg

But when you're out here
Where all of us can see you
We prefer it if you wear clothing

Well, because...

Um, there's no good way to say this, Krorg, but--

Not everyone, uh
Looks good, you know
Um, uh
Naked

Now, don't get me wrong
There are still some of us
That we'd like to see walking around the Cave Circle naked
For example
Your sixth wife
Was very attractive
Right before the raptor ate the left half of her body
And even then
She was still better looking than Blirp's wife

The problem is, there are more of us
Many more of us, actually
That nobody, um, wants to see naked

Well, Splurt wants to see everyone naked
But he's never been the same after falling into that lava pit
And he's probably going to die
Once we throw him into the Flying Thing nest
So we didn't really count his vote

The rest of us decided that it's better
To cut our losses
And just make everyone wear clothes in public
And then get naked for each other
Once we're inside our respective caves
Or bushes
Or in Blirp's case--that half-eaten sabertooth carcass

Then we'll have something to look forward to
Won't that be nice?

I mean, not all of us will have something to look forward to
But those of us with spouses who are, you know
Appealing when...not clothed...will be...certainly...glad

Anyway, the point is
We need you to put something on

It doesn't have to be a lot
Just, you know
A few feathers from the Feather Pile
Or that pair of pants
We made out of the brontosaurus' left kidney or--

Well, no you can't just wear a mask
You have to cover certain--

Well, you see
We decided that certain...parts...are...less...pretty...than...other...parts

And those...parts
Need to be...covered

So, for example
Your dirschovon
Your cooneyfibber
Your testicles

Hide all of those

And also your eyes
They're shifty
And we don't like them
You're not exactly naked
When you don't have them hidden
But hey, why not just kill two stegosauri with one stone, am I right?

You know, like
When we killed those two stegosauri
With one stone
Because it bounced off
Blirp's head

You remember that?

Ahhh, that was a good time

Oh, please, Krorg
Don't stop laughing

We've outlawed
Laughing naked in public

It's now punishable by death

Trust me, Krorg
If you could see yourself
You'd understand why