The last place we stayed at
Had one of those old beds
Where you put a quarter in this little slot
Next to the headboard
And the whole bed shakes
Jim and I didn't have any change on us
But we crawled around on the rug
Until we found three nickels and a dime
And then we got on the bed
And laughed our asses off
When the thing shook twice
Then sputtered
Then died
Jim said--Is this the bed's way of telling me
I'm fat?
I was laughing so hard
I thought I was going to piss myself
Didn't help that we'd been drinking
At the bar across the street from the motel
And I could barely keep my eyes open
I was so exhausted
There was always a bar
When you build a shitty motel
The rule is you have to build it
Within walking distance
Of the worst bar
You can think of
Sometimes Jim and I would offer
To play at whatever bar we could find
If they'd comp a few drinks for us
Sometimes they'd say yes
Sometimes they'd tell us to go screw
A couple of times they asked us what kind of music we played
And we'd try to guess what it was
They'd want to hear
We'd play anything as long as there was cash involved
But every once in awhile we'd get lucky
And somebody would ask us if we play the blues
Maybe they'd look at Jim and make assumptions
Truth was, Jim didn't know shit about the blues until he started playing with me
But they see a black guy and a white guy
Standing in their bar
They always do the same thing
Look at me
Look at him
Look at his guitar
And say--
You guys play the blues?
And yeah, we play the blues
Jim liked folk music
If you want to know the truth
And he knew a couple of Stones songs
When I first met him
But the blues all came from me
I met Jim in Brooklyn
And we hit it off right away
My girlfriend at the time introduced us
He was dating her roommate
And the two girls thought'd it be fun
To have me and Jim become friends
Then they could sit around the kitchen table on Saturday nights
Talking about their lousy musician boyfriends
While we sat in the living room
And jammed--or whatever it is
Girls think musicians do
That fantasy never came to be
Jim broke up with his girlfriend
And a week later I broke up with mine
That was Memorial Day weekend
And Brooklyn was already starting to feel
Like an old newspaper
Left out in the rain
Every summer I'd head out on the road
Not for any particular reason
Just because it felt like something to do
Made me feel like I was a real musician
And not just some bum
Who played a couple of nights a week
After washing dishes all day
At whatever diner would hire me
I figured this might be my last summer on the road though
I was getting older
And my brother had a job for me
At his company, fixing furnaces
Shit like that
Plus I wanted a couple of kids
Didn't really want a wife too much
But I figured that went with the territory
I never took anybody out on the road with me
And I never planned to
But the day I was leaving
I saw Jim smoking outside the shoe store
Where he worked
And...I don't know what made me do it
But I pulled over, rolled down the window
On my beat-up old Buick
And said--
'Hey Jim, you feel like going for a ride?'
Later on he'd tell me
That he was on a ten-minute break
And he thought about his boss sometimes
And did he ever wonder what happened to Jim
When he never came back
We had fun that summer
I did most of the driving
Jim offered, but most of the summer was spent in places
Where if a black guy's driving
You're going to get pulled over
At least twice a day
When I told Jim that
He asked me why I would play
In places like that
I told him it's because they have the cheapest beer
And the easiest women
And he laughed
And we kept driving
Whenever we checked into a motel
I'd get the room for us
And make Jim wait in the car
I tried taking him in with me once
So we could get something with two beds
But as soon as the lady at the desk saw Jim
Suddenly, they were all filled up
One thing about me is
I learn my lessons
The first time
'Look Jim,' I said--
'It's okay,' he said, before I could say anymore
'I don't mind making you sleep on the floor.'
Jim had a wicked kind of smile
He could tell you to go fuck yourself
And smile at you
And you'd think
Yeah, that sounds like fun
The first few places we stayed in
We took turns sleeping on the bed
And sleeping somewhere in the room
We didn't think we'd catch tetanus from
You know you're in a broke down shithole
When you pay good money for a room
Only to end up sleeping in your car
Because the rug has a stain on it
Shaped like the human body
It's stupid to think that the beds were much cleaner
But that's what you tell yourself when you're tired
And you just want to go to sleep
The fourth motel we stayed at
Was the size of a non-walk-in closet
So as soon as we got there
At about 3am
After driving straight from our last gig
At a truck stop somewhere in Louisiana
I saw Jim headed right back towards the car
'Hey,' I said, 'Don't be an idiot. Just get in the bed.'
'It's your turn,' he said
'It's both our turns,' I replied, taking off my shirt,
'Bed's big enough for both of us, Jim--bigger than my car even
And we've been sharing that for a few weeks now.
Not like we're going to spoon or anything, right?'
He nodded his head
And with that nod
We both started laughing
I mean, what a dumb thing
To be worried about
It's not like we were two jocks from Austin
We were musicians from Brooklyn
We were liberal, progressive, sensitive types
We weren't the types to give a shit
About sleeping next to another guy
Hell, we should have been showering together
To save time
But as soon as we got in bed together
...I don't know
I don't know how to talk about this
Without telling you more about Jim
Except...Jim isn't somebody
That was easy to describe
It wasn't that he was handsome
To be frank, he was kinda homely
Bad teeth, beady eyes
Ears that stuck out
But there was something about him
You couldn't peg
Something you could never find out
And it itched at you
In a place you couldn't reach
I rode with him day after day
And we did nothing but talk
And even then, I couldn't figure out what it was
What he was hiding
Because maybe he wasn't hiding anything
Maybe I just needed to ask the right question
To find out what it was
So I asked and asked
And he offered up everything
Everything and anything I wanted to know
But at the end of the day
When we'd hit the sack
I'd be no closer to figuring out what it was about him
That made me want to put my face right up to his
And go right through his eyes
Into his mind
And rummage around in it, you know?
The first night we spent sleeping next to each other
It was there
That thing
That thing that I'd been looking for
I felt it start to move out of him
Like a groundhog coming out to try and find daylight
And I sat there, quiet
My eyes locked shut
Hoping I wouldn't scare it away
Then, just then
I felt his hand on my side
Just softly, very soflty
He put it there
I didn't know if he was asleep or awake
And I was too nervous to open my eyes and find out
So I let it stay there
And I fell asleep with it there
His fingertips on my bare skin
Not as sexy as it sounds
But charged, oh hell yes
Electric, just like they say
About the first time somebody touches you
When you didn't expect them to
The next day neither of us said anything about it
By the time I woke up, Jim was already in the car
I promised him we'd do something fun
Since we usually just got in the car
And started driving to the next place
As soon as we checked out of the motel
'Nothing that costs money,' I said, 'We're on a budget, remember?'
'Just find me some water I can dunk myself in,' he said
It was July, after all
I stopped at a market near town
And they told me about a nearby lake
That was on the way to our next bar
Jim and I found it pretty easy
We parked, stripped down to our undies
And ran in screaming
It was almost a hundred degrees that day
But the water was so cold
It made my feet cramp up
As soon as I felt it on my toes
Being from the city
I hadn't been in a natural body of water
Since two winters before then
When I hitchhiked to Miami
And made love to a woman named Candy
While we were waist-deep in the Atlantic Ocean
Jim was swimming around that lake
Like a dolphin
While I tried to keep myself
From getting hypothermic
The lake wasn't that big
In fact, we could see two boys on the other side
Taking turns jumping off a little cliff
Right into the water
I waved at one of them
And he waved back
Then his friend jumped on him
And the two of them went under the surface
Laughing and slapping at each other
I was watching the two boys so close
I didn't even hear the girls pull up
In their car
To this day I still call them
Honey and Honey
Because that's what Jim named them
And they never corrected him
Or told him their real names
They'd just say it back to each other
Like it was the strangest and funniest thing
They'd ever heard
'Oh hey, Honey.'
'Hey Honey to you too.'
'Lookin' good, Honey.'
'I know, doll, don't I?'
The girls got right in the water with us
Wearing the tiniest bikinis you ever saw in your life
And Jim went from dolphin to shark
Swimming around them
Making them scream
Every time he'd grab their legs
When they found out we were poor musicians
They offered to buy us dinner
And we were so broke
We didn't even bother with pride or chivalry
We just asked them
If there were any good burger places around
After we ate, the girls took us out to a bar in town
They already had a band playing there
But the guys in the group let us get onstage
And play with them for a few songs
When they saw we were with two girls
They must have known
We were trying to seal the deal
\
We spent the rest of the night dancing
And then we told the girls
We were going to go look for a room
Honey #1 told us that was silly
We could stay with them at their place
They had an apartment
And it was just the two of them
'Well,' said Jim, 'Since we've already spent the day imposing ourselves on you...'
The girls died laughing
The way Jim said 'imposed'
It would have made a biker blush
And we got in our car
And followed the girls
To their place
As soon as we were through the door of their apartment
Honey and Honey got right to business
One started unbuttoning my shirt
While the other got to work on the zipper
On Jim's pants
I was about to suggest that we take our parties
To the two bedrooms
But Jim gave me a wink
Picked up Honey #2 and put her right down
On the living room rug
Part of me was worried the girls would object
To what I knew Jim was looking for
But that thought went out the window
When Honey #1 hopped on her friend
And the two of them started kissing
In all my time on the road
I'd done some pretty wild things
But Honey and Honey were the two prettiest girls
Who'd ever given me the time of day
And this was shaping up to be
The best night of my life
I'm not going to tell you too much about what happened with the girls
Not because I regret it or I don't know that you'd like to hear the details
But because it's not all that important to the story
And with a story as long as this one
You gotta try to stick to the point
Even though I am enjoying talking to you folks
Well, I guess we're not really talking, huh?
I'm doing most of the talking
But once I'm done
Feel free to tell me anything you like
About yourselves
The girls and me and Jim were all having a good time
When I noticed, well into the, uh, experience
That Jim was looking at me
Right at me
So I looked away
But then when I looked back at him a second later
He was still looking at me
And the girls were...pre-occupied
So they didn't notice
But I did
And we kept doing it
Looking at each other
And then, without even thinking about it
I reached out my hand
...And Jim took it
And we stayed like that
Holding hands
For...
God, for I don't know how long
. . . . .
When we woke up the next morning
The girls were gone
They'd left a note saying they had to go work shifts a diner nearby
And could we show ourselves out
And please don't steal anything
Hey, at least they were cute enough to sign it
'The Honey's'
And put a smiley face at the bottom
Jim and I wanted to write them a thank you note
But we couldn't find the pen they used
So instead we left the pack of gum
Jim had in his pocket
And hoped they'd get the right message
We got in our car and drove
To the next town
On our list
The last place we stayed at
Was the place with the rattling bed
And this was the last weekend in August
After that, we were supposed to do a straight-shot
Right back to Brooklyn
Where Jim was going to try and get his job at the shoe store back
And I was going to find some nice girl
To settle down with
Right before I started fixing furnaces
With my brother
When the bed stopped shaking
My laughter was still sputtering out of me
And Jim was just smiling from ear-to-ear
We were laying on our sides
Looking at each other
And it was...
Man, it was nice
You know?
It just felt nice
And sometimes you're in a moment like that
A nice moment
Where you feel like
There's only one thing that could make it nicer
And then you realize you can have the one thing
If you really want it
And I really wanted it
So, I pushed myself a little bit forward
And got my face right up to Jim's
And I kissed him
And he kissed me back...
And there it was again
That thing that I thought lived only in his fingertips
And in the hidden parts of his mind
Was there on his lips too
Up until then, the only time sex had come up on this trip
Was back with the Honey's
In their little apartment
But this didn't feel like sex
It felt like...huh
I mean, it's stupid to say
Because you probably already know I'm going to say it
But...
It felt like music
It really did
Like we were just...playing together
Like we'd been doing all summer
Just playing one long song
The best--the best song
Either of us knew
. . . . .
Two months later
It was October in New York
Isn't that funny?
Just two months
And you go from laying in a bed
With a guy
To talking about marriage
With some nice girl from the Astoria
Who doesn't interest you in the slightest
After the night on the shaking bed
I woke up like I always did
And Jim was gone
And no note like the Honey's either
His bag was gone
But his cut of the money from the night before
Was next to the sink in the bathroom
The candy he kept in the glove compartment of the car was gone
But the car keys were still in my jacket pocket when I checked
I drove around town looking for him
Asking if anybody'd see him
But I didn't get anywhere
The bar we drank at the night before
Didn't even remember him
'Weren't you drinking here by yourself?' the bartender asked me
'No,' I said, 'I was in here all night with a guy. A black guy.'
'You might not want to say that too loud,' said the bartender, and he walked away, rubbing his hands on a dishrag
I spent all day looking
But when eight o'clock rolled around
I knew I had to get going
And that Jim wasn't lost
He just didn't want to be found
I figured I'd hear from him
When I got back to Brooklyn
But two months later
I was still figuring
And nothing--no phone calls, nothing
His old boss at the shoe store
Said he didn't remember Jim either
A year to the day after Jim disappeared
I got married to the nice girl from Astoria
And eight and a half months after that
We had our first kid
No, I didn't name him Jim
This isn't that kind of story
But I'll tell you something--
The kid had his smile
God as my witness
That kid smiles
Just like Jim
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