How to Fall in Love with a Dying Woman

Learn to appreciate her hands
There are many parts of her to love
But hands are often overlooked
And that is unfortunate
Because they are remarkable
Especially hers

Learn to hold her hand
Trace its lines
Hold one finger at a time
The way you would with a child
Let her know you can hold as much or as little of her
As she needs you to

If her hands are cold
Warm them
If they're sweaty
Absorb the sweat
Or let yours be sweaty too
There are so many ways
You can no longer show affection
But you can always
Hold her hand

Accept that time is something
None of us are given

She's been given a roadmap
To the time she has left
And the journey isn't very long
But none of us know
How long our roads are going to be
So don't look at her as having less of a life
Just think of her as having more of a plan

Laugh with her, when she can laugh
She'll laugh a lot, believe it or not
Death, when viewed up close
Has its moments of sheer hilarity
Right up until it breathes its last words into your ear
And then it's simply quiet

Take comfort in knowing there will be mess and misery
Crying an discomfort
But when the end comes
The thing you'll dread the most
It will be the quietest moment of your life
And then you'll wish for the mess and the misery
You'll miss the hurlyburly of it all
The second it's over

Never say 'did' or 'was'
Do not anticipate her going
For as long as she is here
She is here--now
You don't begin a vacation by talking about the flight home
Don't begin this love affair
By talking about how it's going to end

Believe--and this is going to sound like a cliche
But listen to me, all right?
Believe
That love
Is powerful

We have taken the meaning out of saying
That love is powerful
So I'll say it again
And I want to zero in on the words
'Love' and 'Power'
And realize that it seems odd
That those two things
Should go together
Let alone to insinuate
That one--something of peace and kindness
Is filled with the other--something of danger and control

But within the contradiction
Lies the miracle

Love has power

Something built with love
Will stand forever

Pretty good, huh?

There's a reason they put that kinda stuff
On movie posters

Lastly this--

In terms of
How to fall in love with a dying woman
Or anyone, for that matter
Dying or otherwise

Remember--

That you have...

Absolutely no choice in the matter

You can fight it, certainly
But when it comes right down to it
If it's going to happen
It's going to happen
And if you fight something that's going to happen
It's going to happen ten times faster
Than you think it will
So don't fight

Don't

Just take her hand
And hold it
Until the moment
She lets it go