Stranger Things Have Happened

The first person I ever kissed
Was Anthony

Oh, don't call him Tony
God forbid
He does not like being called Tony
He's Anthony
Got it?
Okay
So--

I kissed him when I was eight
We were kids
We were goofy
Goofy kids
And we were best friends
And one time he was chasing me around my backyard
And he was yelling 'I'm going to kiss you like a girl'
And I was yelling 'Nooooooooo!'
But he caught me
He held me down
And he laid one on me
Closed lips, but still--
My first kiss

Okay, got that?

Now--

Thirty-five years later
I'm playing at a bar
I play piano
This woman and I
Who I used to be married to
She sings, I play
We were a terrible couple
But we're a hell of an act

So one night, I'm playing
She's singing
And I look out in the crowd

...And there's Anthony

I haven't seen him in...

But I know
I know it's him

And he knows it's me
Because he waves to me
And, well, I can't wave back
I'm playing piano after all
But I sort of smile and nod my head
And he mouths the word 'Later'
To let me know he'll stick around
After the show

So we finish the show
My ex-wife goes home with her new husband
A rather short man
Who I'm not un-fond of
And I get a drink with Anthony at the bar

We talk, we catch up
I mean, hell, we get to know each other
It's been thirty-five years
This person is a stranger
I don't know him
And yet--I know him

And--and this is crazy, believe me, I know
But--

I'd missed him

I had
I'd missed him

Maybe because I missed my childhood
Maybe because of the protection awarded to nostalgia
Maybe because he knew me before the three failed marriages
And the slight addiction to prescription drugs
And the beer gut
And the bad eyesight
And the teenage son who calls me 'Senor Fuckface' in public

Who knows?

But I missed him

I walked him back to his hotel
And we exchanged good-bye's
Realizing that, even in this age of social media
And constant contact
We'd probably never see each other again

And I kissed him

Closed lips

Very sweet, very simple

I kissed him
He kissed me back
We hugged
I wished him well
And that was that

You know, when I was eight, I wasn't gay
I wasn't straight either
When you're eight, you're not anything
You're just wonderful

And then life comes in
And you start being given things that you are

--A son, a husband, a father, a musician, an asshole, a divorcee, a man--

You are all those things
And each of those things
Have their own meanings
And their own rules
And you play by the rules
And you fall neatly into the box
That you have built
Simply by living your life

But sometimes...sometimes
You say--Fuck the box

And you step outside it
And you see someone you know
Someone you miss
And you just want to celebrate the fact
That both of you knew each other
Before you went
Inside the box

And that's what that kiss was

If you think that makes me gay
That's okay
It doesn't bother me
I've been called a lot of things in my life
'Gay' would hardly be one of the worst
And who knows?
Maybe it wouldn't even be all that inaccurate
Depending on your definition of the word

I did kiss a man
I did like it
I doubt it could have led to sex
But had it
I might have liked that too

You know, I'm at a point in my life
Where, gloriously, I just don't care
What anybody thinks about what I do
Or who I am
Or who I kiss
Or love
Or miss

And if you take anything from me
If there's something to take from it
Then it's this--

Don't wait thirty-five years
To stop giving a shit

If you see somebody out there in the crowd
Somebody you thought you'd never see again
Who made you happy to be you

Then you stop what you're doing
You walk out there
And you kiss that person
Right on the lips

Why not, right?

Why the hell not?