Small Surrenders

There are gratitudes to be had
So many gratitudes

But there amongst the gratitudes
Are the small surrenders

I used to cook for myself
Only for myself

Now I cook with other people in mind
And so I cook differently

You do things differently
When it's just not you
You're concerned for

I watch different programs now
I used to enjoy watching nonsense
Shows with non-celebrities
Arguing about which one of them
Is the most insufferable

Now I watch things of quality
I read only things of quality
I eat much better than I used to
Again, the cooking
And this all adds to me having
A much better life

Plus, I'm in love
So there's that

Love, when done right
Does tend to add points
To your overall life score

But the small surrenders...

You let them go
You concede them
And because they're small
You don't make too much of a fuss about it
You sort of...
Put them down
The way you would a small boat
In a river
And you watch them float away

And if you love someone
--And yes, it can be hard to tell sometimes
Very hard, but--

If you do

Then you go to bed at night
And you look at this person
Lying next to you
And you think--

What wouldn't I surrender for you?
What wouldn't I give up?

Everything to the point of myself, really
If it meant keeping you a day longer
Than what I'm eventually going to be given

When it comes right down to it
Everything is small
But that feeling you have for each other
That deep, resounding pull
Towards each other
To each other
Against each other

Everything else down the river
And if you walk away from it
From that debris
That compromised what you believed to be
Components of your identity
If you step and step and step again
And don't
Look
Back

Don't even feel the urge
To look back
Then, well...

Then you know you've found
That thing that everybody's looking for

Then you know
That you really didn't lose anything
At all