The Ghosts of Malibu

The beach here is so pretty

And they wonder why we died

They sent us to Heaven
And then made us go back to Earth
And told us not to miss it

And how could we not?

How could we not miss all of this?

Toes in the water
Toes in the sand
Walks through tall grass

Guidelines, structure
But no rules, not really
Not once you're over the hump

Getting to wear white
No matter what time of year it is
And sandals
Or nothing at all
Just bare feet

They let us come here
And turn into new people
And they tell us
It's the people we've been all along
But we know that's not true
We know we're broken
And that this place becomes glue
It patches up the holes
But the holes don't close up

They put as many band-aids over them as they can
And then they ship you back out
To the concrete
And the humidity
And rain

No matter where you're from
It rains more
Than it ever rains here
And it's a hard rain too
Not like the pitter patter

Not like the soft lull that puts you to sleep
Even in the middle of the day

You wake up and you're in an uncomfortable bed
Maybe on a floor, maybe somebody's couch
You're sweating, you look around
You find a window, you stick your head out of it
Expecting to smell the beach air
Instead you just see a street filled with garbage
Or little kids on tricycles with no parents watching them

You tug at your clothes, they don't fit
You step on something, a pill bottle
You swear, you feel dirty
You take a shower, you feel worse

It's...

It's like you're being punished
For getting better

So you...

Well, it's a shameful thing to admit, but you do
You give up

You fall back
Back to where you left off
And then you fall back even further
Until one day you close your eyes
And when you open them
You're back here

Exactly where you wanted to be

And you're sad
Because you know it's over
You lost the war
You lost the battle
You lost yourself

And you let so many people down

But there's nothing you can do about it
Except hope that one day they'll be here with you
On a hill
Looking out, over a beach
Feeling like you should have just stayed here

Feeling like...

You never should have left