How Do You Know Him?

How do you know him?
Wait, wait, wait
Why is that a touchy question?
All of a sudden it's a touchy question
How-somebody-knows-somebody
I'm just asking
It's just a question
How do you know him?

Because I've thought about it
I mean, I've really thought this through
Because, you know, what else do I have to think about?
And who doesn't like a project, you know?
It's just--things bounce around in your brain
You start to think of this or that
And pretty soon, you're thinking
Wait, wait, wait
Something isn't adding up here
And that's what brings me to you
And him

I'm not really sure
How you two
Would you know each other

And yes, yes
You both know me
I could be a sort of connector
Except, and here's where I give a little
In the interest of, you know, getting a little
I will admit
That I would find it very odd
If I were the connector for you two
Because I have done everything
And I mean EVERYTHING
To make sure that you two never meet
And now it appears--you've met

So--

How did that happen?

Because I knew how this would go
You two--interacting together
Like gunpowder and a lit match
And from the look you just gave him
I can see I was right

Now--you don't work together
You don't live anywhere near each other
There is a significant--SIGNIFICANT--age difference
So please, tell me
How did this little friendship
Develop?

Huh?

Because I have theories
I have ideas
About how it might have happened

Oh, don't get me wrong
I have PLENTY of ideas

But before I tell you my ideas
Why don't you
Just tell me
The truth

The truth about how
You know him

And then I'll tell you
About how much longer
You're going to know me