Strangers Tell the Truth

You told me Brandon disappeared
You said he just vanished
You looked me right in the eyes, Dad
You looked at me
And you said, He went into the water
He went into the water
Walked into the water
And you went to start packing up
And when you turned around
He was gone
That's what you said
That's what you told me

Why would you say that
If it wasn't true?

All my life I've been talking to strangers
Distrusting them, listening for a break in their voice
Listening for something to tell me
That they're lying to me
Because after Brandon disappeared
I didn't believe anyone
I didn't believe a damn thing anybody told me
Except you--I believed you

Do you have any idea what it's like
Going through life like that?

Clinging to a story given to you by one person
And knowing, deeply somehow knowing
That it couldn't be, that something about it wasn't right
But thinking that must be because somebody pulled something
Pulled something over on you and me
And this whole family

Strangers tell lies
And they work magic
And they steal little boys
From beaches
In late August
Right before school starts
That's what I believed

And then today, I saw the photos
I went downstairs in the basement
And I saw the photos of the car

And I remember Mom
I remember her hand being all banged up
Bloody, you have to put the beach towel around it
You had nothing else
And you screamed at me
To go for a walk
Just a walk down the beach
You said 'Come back in an hour'

How did you know I would?
How did you know I'd be okay?
Brandon was in the water
And then he was gone
And Mom's hands were covered in blood
And you sent me away

And let me tell you something
Whatever else might have happened that day
What you did
Making me take a walk
By myself
When I was nine
That--That was the worst thing
That's the thing I can probably never forgive you for

That and the fact that the person I'm married to
Tells me they're going to the store
And I start having panic attacks
Because I don't think they're coming back

It's taken me my entire life
To realize that strangers tell the truth
They don't lie to you
They don't have any reason to lie

It's just the people closest to you
The ones who care so much about you
And what you think of them
And what you could do to them
If you wanted to
Because of what you know
Because of what you can remember
Those are the people you have to worry about
Those are the people you can't trust

In murder mysteries it's always the family member
That did it when nobody else was looking
Everybody knows that
And yet here I was spinning in circles
Looking for the Boogeyman
Who can make kids disappear
When their perfect parents stop paying attention
For less than a second

All this time I've been afraid of the dark
When really, the dark is where I belong
The dark is where it's safe

Because once you turn the lights on
Then you can't hide anymore

Then you really
See it all