One Day I Won't Be Lost

One day I won't be lost
I'll just be a traveler
Somebody who's seen the world

People keep trying to say 'Here, here'
Because as soon as they find out you're out there
They want to pull you in
Like you're drowning
And they can save you
But--shit--it's...
It's hard not to hurt their feelings
By saying, 'I think I'm just going to keep on going'
So, you know, you leave a note
And you're gone in the morning
And you didn't take anything from them
Even the stuff they offered
And you know they're going to spend
--You know, probably a good amount of time--
Looking for you, after that
And you just have to move on anyway

You know, when a person wakes up everyday
Somewhere different from where they woke up the day before
Uh, uh, uh--it's...it keeps you feeling...
I mean, alive, yeah, but sort of shaky alive, you know?
Like, I'm always like--what the--and then I remember
Oh right, I'm somewhere else
And I have to adjust to that
And it's--I mean, I won't lie to you, it's a high, kind of
It's a kind of rush

One time I woke up
And I had that--you know, that experience
That a lot of people who do what I do have
I woke up
And there was a gun pointed at me
Right at my face

And BAM, you know
Instantly, you're wide awake
But a second ago you were just asleep
So your instincts are still kind of slow
Even though the adrenaline is coming
And it's coming fast

What the hell man?  What's with the gun?

Guy just stood there
Looking like he was more scared than I was
Didn't want money, I could see that
And he knew--
I mean, he sees me sleeping on a park bench
He knows I don't have anything

But I guess he has a gun
And I guess he just wants to point it at someone
To see what it feels like

I guess, I mean, because he only holds it on me
Until I speak up, and then he just backs away
For a few steps, I mean, and then he turns and runs
And fuck, I don't run after him
I'm not fucking crazy

That was the closest I ever came to being like--

No, no more
Enough of this shit
I'm out

But then I just...

I mean, I don't know how
I was so worked up, or I should have been, but...
I just kind of forced myself
To go back to sleep

And the next time I woke up
There were two kids playing frisbee
And a woman reading a book
On a pink blanket
And I thought--

Well, this is nice

I don't even know if they saw me
Or maybe they did
And they thought
Well, it's his park too
Let him do what he wants

These two things
All in one day
A very violent encounter, you know
And then this peaceful sort of idyllic scene
It just...

It just meant sometimes you get this
And sometimes you get that
And you can fall victim to one
Or you can relax into the other
Or...you know

You can move

It's not just about the place, you know
It's about the feeling you get
When you open your eyes
And see what's been handed to you

So...

I move

Until something feels right
Or something stops me
From moving

And truthfully, it all feels
Like being lost

But I believe
I mean, I really believe
That one day
It won't

One day I won't be lost

I'll open my eyes
See what I see
And think--

Yeah

This one's a keeper