Johnny's Big Romance

He got fucked up
Once, twice
Three times

Broke his nose
Then rebroke it
So it looked all right

Got his hair done
Clipped his nails
Ate right, dressed right
Got himself called a catch

Smoked a cigarette a day
Just for show, just 'cause

Drank a drink a night
Then a drink to wake up

Wrote notes on his arms
In removable ink

But when he found wisdom
He got it tattooed
On places only he could see

He spoke enough Spanish
To seem exotic

Enough French to make love
Enough American to start fights
Enough bullshit to get a girl in bed

And when the bullshit didn't work
He showed her one of those wise tattoos
And pretty soon
She acquiesced

But the girl who showed up at the Tuesday show
Wasn't going to be easily impressed by wisdom

Wisdom wasn't going to pay her rent
Or get her kid to school on time
So she had no use for it
But she did need a job

So they hired her as a waitress
And Johnny bummed a cigarette off her
Outside right before he went on
To sing some cover song
With the band of the night

He wouldn't settle in with any band
But he didn't mind jumping from one to the other

In his own mind
He called himself
'The Wandering Minstrel'

In his own mind
He made himself laugh
Whereas outwardly
He would just chuckle
At the though of himself
With pantaloons
And a lyre

'You think you're something, don't you,' she asked him

And it was the first time
Anybody had ever called him out
And smiled at him
At the same time

That's when Johnny knew
He was in for a big romance

He knew this girl
Wouldn't settle
For anything less