While We Take Photos

We smile while we take pictures
We smile and hold the smile
We smile and try not to show too much teeth
We smile and put up a peace sign
We smile and put down the peace sign realizing we look stupid
We smile and put up with smiling
Because we want the photos to turn out right
So that our parents can go home with them
And show their friends
And say--'Behold, my child is in college'

A college with a lovely quad
And a big brick library
That looks like it survived the Revolutionary War
And gazebos
And dorms with ivy crawling on them
Even though this is not an ivy league school
And it seems like the ivy
Is a floral example
Of false advertising

It's a lovely school

While we take pictures
Mom plays with her iPhone
And tries to figure out
Which restaurant we should go to tonight

All we do is go to restaurants
And order whatever we want
And drink wine

We drink wine with our parents
Which is incredibly weird
Because, despite our best efforts
Wine gets us drunk
And it gets them drunk
And then we're drunk with our parents
And that is beyond weird

While we take pictures
Our Dad looks around
And imagines his college days
And hopes that we're not doing the things
That he did in college
Not even a tenth of the things
That he did in college

Even a tenth of the tenth of the things he did
Would probably result in us dying
And he's not sure how he didn't die
And yet, at the same time
He really, really misses college

While we take pictures
We start counting down the hours
Until our parents will leave

Not because we don't love them
But because, in some way
We're not their children anymore

We drink now
We've done drugs--like real drugs
And no, we don't do those drugs anymore
The real or unreal kind
But we still did them

We have sex now--regularly
And not, like high school sex
Not handjob sex
Not over the pants sex
Like, sex sex

And we're careful--usually
And when we're not careful
We get checked
And then we're super careful the next time

But we're--

We're making mistakes now
Like, adult mistakes
And we're studying constantly
And we're working part-time
And we're probably getting a tattoo
Somewhere our parents will never see

And meanwhile, they take pictures

They take pictures of us
Their children
And they can't tell that something's changed

Or maybe they can
But they can't figure out
What exactly it is

What is it that's different
What is it that's wrong
What is it that's making us
Have to fake a smile
When before we would just...smile

And what they don't realize is--

It's the obvious answer

The one anyone without kids
Would think of

We're growing up

And as much as they might want it to
Taking our picture
Won't stop that

It won't freeze us in time

It'll still happen
And when they go home
They'll look at those photos
And try to see
What it is
They're missing