A Squirrel and A Toad Discuss Art

"Are you sure?"
"It's finished."
"You say it's brilliant?"
"It's the best work I've ever done."
"It certainly is.  It's incredible--"
"Thank you."
"--For a rabbit."

. . . . .

"Pardon?"
"I was just saying that what you did was very impressive."
"Oh."
"For a rabbit."
"There it is again."
"I think this piece is a great stride forward for your kind."
"My kind?"
"Rabbits aren't exactly known for their artistic prowess."
"And frogs aren't known for their critiquing prowess."
"I'm a toad."
"And I'm a bunny."
"Is there a difference?"
"I should slap you."
"Let's remain civil."
"I've created a masterpiece."
"It's lovely."
"It's a masterpiece."
"It's quaint."
"It's a masterpiece."
"It's decent."
"You're demoting your own compliments."
"I'm aware.  I was trying to be kind.  What I meant to say is that for Rabbit Art it's a nice piece--"
"Bunny Art.  It's Bunny Art."
"It's been done."
"By who?"
"Squirrels."
"Squirrels have been doing Bunny Art?"
"Back then it was Squirrel Art, and back then, it was relevant."
"It is still relevant.  It is an expression of my soul."
"Listen, nobody's interested in seeing a bunny express its soul.  Now, if you were a hare--"
"Hare Art is tacky.  It's cheap.  It's 1987 with teased hair and a Member's Only Jacket."
"It's vintage."
"It's old.  That's all it is--old."
"At least it was new at one point.  This was just finished and already it's stale."
"You just don't want to admit that a rabbit created such an immaculate object."
"Immaculate?  It's a painting of a carrot."
"The Ideal Carrot."
"What's ideal about it?"
"It's a representation of so many things.  Desire, hunger, lust--"
"Lust?"
"It symbolizes everything that I am."
"You're a bunny."
"I am what I crave.  A bunny craves a carrot."
"I've seen better carrots than that at a Ruby Tuesday's salad bar."
"You're full of envy because you know I'll never sell you that painting."
"The only place you could see it would be at a Floridian flea market."
"You're nothing more than a chipmunk that people don't want to pet."
"And you're merely a wad of cotton with bad taste!"

. . . . .

"I'll give you five hundred for it."
"Sold."
"Let's never speak of this again."
"Deal."
"Good."
"Admit that it's a good carrot."
"It's not good.  It's... exquisite."
"There.  That's all you had to say."