The Unprofessional Therapist

Oh my goodness!

Is that what you've been waiting to tell me

Holy fuck

I'm sorry, but--my God!

Jesus

That is messed up!

I mean, I know I've only been treating you
For eight months
But seriously
I did not see that coming

My God, you should brace people
Before you just unleash something like that

I am stunned

I mean, I am really stunned

I don't even know what to say

Write it down?

No, no, trust me
I don't need to write it down
It's seared in my brain

Besides, this notebook doesn't really have anything valuable in it anyway

It's mostly just doodles

See, this is one of you
In a puppy costume
Doing jumping jacks

Cute, right?

I have to do stuff like that
Or I go nuts listening to all this stuff

Especially the kind of stuff you just told me

Man, I have GOT to tell somebody else about this

It's cool though
I'll just change your name or something

I'll call you Bobo

How does that sound?

Wow, you are really twisted

I've treated, like, serial killers and stuff
I mean, I didn't know they were serial killers for sure
But I'm pretty confident that some of the people I've treated
Were sick enough to have killed people
In a serialized way

But even taking those patients into consideration
You are still, by far
The most warped example
Of a human being
I have ever met
In my life

And that's just based on what you told me
A second ago

Who knows what else is lurking up there
In that torture chamber
You call a psyche?

Man, I can't wait to keep working with you

It's like opening up a new Stephen King novel

Will there be monsters?
Will there be murderers?
Will there be a giant clown?

God, the adventure of it all!

So, let's keep going

Oh, and by the way
I'm going to take the gun out of my drawer
And just keep it in my lap, but--

Don't let that distract you

Remember

This is a palace
Of sensitivity