Math Methods

Well, I personally like to teach the Hindenson method
Which they stopped teaching in 2009
After they discovered Hindenson was a Nazi
But I mean, what does fascism have to do
With dividing fractions, am I right?

Anyway, they're bringing it back now
Slowly, of course, slowly
But I can tell you with the utmost certainty
That no child in this country
Is getting into a decent private high school
If he can't demonstrate a firm knowledge
Of the Hindenson Method
On an entrance exam

Granted, you can't completely disregard
The Tomayo/Grouper Method
Which is what they started using
Once Hindenson's Method was called into question
But I find it to be incredibly confusing
Even though it does take into consideration
New European teaching techniques
Which are currently becoming very popular in America

To be on the safe side
I would probably memorize
Both the Hindenson and the Tomayo/Grouper methods

Now, each take about a year to learn
So we have a lot of work to do
If we want your child
To be doing something
Other than mixing coleslaw
At Chuck's Chicken Shack
In twenty years

Oh, and I just heard about this method
They're teaching in Minnesota
Which involves crystals
And blindfolds
And it might have been started by pagans
But they used it on toddlers
And now those toddlers
Can both divide fractions
And predict snowstorms

So we should probably at least glance at that
You know, for four to eight weeks
Again, just to be on the safe side

I am so happy that you've hired me
This is going to be great for little--James?  Joe?  Jenna?

Never mind

I call all my kids by the same name--

'More'

Yes, it is an instruction
But it's also something
They need to have ingrained in their heads
At as early an age as possible

'More'

Want more
Do more
Exercise more
Read more
Study more
Crave more
MoremoremoremorehoneywhereareyougoingwiththekidsImsorryIsignedthemupforphysicscamp!

You know, like that

So!

Shall we get started?

We have a LOT of work to do