Charlie and the Lunch Lady

The first time Charlie left home
I found him at school
Sitting in the cafeteria
At around five in the morning

I was always the first person at the school
Even before the janitor
Or the principal

In fact, the principal used to joke with me about it

'Anything wrong when you got here this morning,' he'd say

He liked the idea
That the lunch lady
Got in
Before anybody else

Charlie must have crawled through an open window in the cafeteria that first time
Because all the doors were locked

I asked him what he was doing there so early
And he said he didn't want to go home
And could he just stay until school started

I said sure, I mean it was only two hours until homeroom

'But,' I said, 'Have you eaten anything'

He said 'No' so I made him some eggs and bacon

From then on, he used to come in early
When I'd get there
And I'd make him breakfast

I don't know if his mom cared about whether or not he was fed
But I don't like letting people go hungry

I asked him if he was going home afterschool
Because I didn't want him sleeping on the street
And he said he'd wait until everybody was asleep
And then he'd crawl through his bedroom window
Or sleep at a friend's house

I told him that if the window was ever locked
Or his friends weren't up
He could come stay at my house
And I gave him the address

That wasn't an appropriate thing to do
But if it was that or him being out in the cold
Then I didn't really care what was appropriate

You know, people didn't used to worry so much
About what was appropriate

Sometimes I'm glad I'm dead

Here we don't worry about 'appropriate' so much
We say what we want
Do what we want
Eat what we want

It's pretty nice, you know
They tell you it's going to be
And they're right

It's nice

Charlie only ever showed up at my house one night
And that was the night of the prom

That was after it had come out
That he'd been...

That his piano teacher had taken advantage of him
When he was a kid

I remember hearing about that
And throwing up for an hour
It made me so sick

That poor kid

That on top of who knew what was going on at home
No wonder they didn't catch that woman
Using Charlie like that

I never talked to him about it
But while that whole thing was being investigated
Charlie stopped showing up at school so early

Actually, he stopped showing up at all for the most part
None of the kids knew why because we kept it under wraps
But they must have known something was up
And they used to tease him anyway
So it didn't make much difference

I think his teachers only passed him through that year
Because he was a senior
And they felt bad

The night of prom I woke up at four to hear someone knocking on my door
And sure enough, it was Charlie

I took him in
Sat him down at my kitchen table
And made him breakfast

They always tell you everybody should eat breakfast
That it's a good start to the day

Well, I tried to give Charlie that

On that last night of him being in high school
Before the world was going to come in and take over
I tried to give him a good start

I couldn't give him a new start, but I tried to give him a good one
A push away from all the stuff he'd had to deal with
Over the course of his life up until then

I tried to give him that
And I think I did

I hope I did

But you know what's strange?

I still feel guilty

I still feel like I could have done better

I still feel like I could have given him
A lot more